Mama

Happy birthday lady! You've accomplished a lot this year. Don't worry, you can slow down whenever you're ready.

Perhaps it's having my own babies, that makes me realize how lucky I am to have such a kind-hearted, creative, spunky, tender mama. Cause I'm starting to realize it's a tricky business.

I love you. I'm glad to be yours.

3

I don't know why it feels so momentous, but all day long I've wanted to shout out to everyone passing by, "My boy is three!"

Van's birthday last year consisted of Dr. visits, pain meds and cast signing parties.

 But this year was so different:

 This year started out with a homemade birthday donut.

 Followed by a birthday adventure taking the bus with Honey (GK) to see his first movie in a theater: Cars 2

Cruising around town waiting for the bus to come.

Then later, a birthday dinner date with Mama to the Farmer's Market where we listened to music, played on the slides, and got some kettle corn.

At this rate, being three is bound to be better than being two.

I have to admit that in spite of wanting to announce the significance of the day, I felt a little nostalgic today. For some reason, three seems awfully old, and my boy seems mighty tall.

That sweet blue-eyed baby is slipping through my fingers and his independent, creative, willful counterpart is claiming a spot in my heart.

That boy of mine

We went to the farmers' market on Saturday morning. We went to see the people, buy a cookie, look for some yummy looking fruit, and of course find some music.

Somehow, all the kids love music. Recently, Van has started some music classes, and it's amazing to watch his new found confidence.

 When we stopped to hear some guys jamming at the park, he made himself at home on the extra instruments laying out for passers by.

I think it's about time this kid started earning his keep.

Today

Today, I loved nothing more than being a mother. We've had busy weekends over the past several weeks. But today, we put on the brakes and just laid low.

My Jo spends hours of the day at this window waiting for people to pass by. Then she waves and smiles and smudges the screen with her drool-covered chin, and says, "Hi" or "Ha fa" (high five). It's very hard to resist falling in love with her perfect, squishy little self.

My boy is always amazing me with his tenderness. In the morning he wants to "go check on the babies" and when they come out he smiles and says, "my sisters" and kisses them on the heads. Of course then he cries when one of them takes his "Lightning Eequeen" and  proceeds to throw all of his special toys over the baby gate into the kitchen where "the babies can't get them".

My sweet bird loves her mama right now. She can't get enough cuddles and kisses. She laughs at everything... except strangers. But even in her attachment, there is a mischief lurking behind her blue eyes that makes me smile.

And this guy (the one on the right), well, the picture speaks for itself. He carries a big load around here, and I'm grateful every day.

I wouldn't be a mother without them, and wouldn't want to.

An Accomplishment

Friday was a rough day. It started out tired and was fueled by three cranky kids and some every day chaos. And by evening, I felt like I was drowning. I was overwhelmed with how many things in my life were demanding my attention, and only getting the bare minimum.

By the time GK and I had the kids in bed, I was exhausted and in my fatigue I started to let my emotions and my imagination run away with me. I felt sad that my children didn't have the mom they deserved, that I didn't communicate better with my husband, that my house wasn't more orderly and more fun, that my classes weren't better prepared and executed, that my... 

Well, I won't go on, but you get the idea.

Then I started thinking what a stupid idea it was to have signed up for a half-marathon back in early March. What had I been thinking? I went to bed with these thoughts running through my head. Needless to say, I had a hard time sleeping.

At 5:50 AM as the rest of the house slept, I tried not to let myself think too much. I got dressed in my fluorescent pink shirt that I'd picked out at Target so that I'd be easy to see in the crowd, did a little warm-up sun salutation, ate a little breakfast and went outside to meet my ride. 

Once my friend Heather and I arrived and signed in, I called GK to say everything was set. I asked him how everyone was and he said they were still asleep. (Turns out Van was actually awake and sitting under the dining room table eating powdered Nestle Quick) He said to run with my phone so they could try to catch me at some point along the way.

I started my race and GK started his. He changed three diapers, packed snacks, drinks, stroller while Van entertained the girls.

They raced into Sacramento and GK called me at mile 5 as they got close. He called again after he had parked, unloaded, and sprinted up the hill with the world's largest stroller. We were both so disappointed, they had just missed me. So like a champ, he packed up the kids again, broke down the stroller and drove to the finish line.

Some photo highlights of the race:

Just before I saw them at the finish line

 Just after we reunited

 Van thought my bib looked like a bag of popcorn. He kept reaching inside to see if he could find some.

 The girls enjoying the free bananas in their jammies

 My medal

 My banana (altogether, we put away seven)

 Josie enjoying the mariachi band

 The mariachi band (Van loved the trumpets)

 My friend Heather who ran her fastest half ever

 Family Portrait (the girls are behind Vanny, there's no good angle to get everyone in that stroller)

In the end, it wasn't such a stupid idea after all. I made good time and accomplished something I'd set out to do. It turns out it was just what I needed after a day like Friday. And the absolute highlight of the experience was kissing the faces of my sweet babies and my love. 

Maybe there's something to this idea of enduring to the end.

Spreading Out the Fun

Growing up in my family, we had a saying, "We spread out the fun." I've mentioned it before. It used to mean that your birthday would be celebrated a few days late, or maybe the perfect gift hadn't been located quite yet.

Here in the Risser house we've adopted the slogan with gusto. Only to us it means that your birthday lasts several days before and several days after the official date.

We started celebrating the girls' birthday last weekend with some cupcakes and sweet company all the way from Colorado and Oakland. Then on Monday, a friend came with us to the park and took these amazing photos.

I can't wait to see the rest! Once we're done celebrating that is. (to see more of Angella's brilliance go to
www.
angelladawnphoto.
com)

And Then They Were One

At this time last year, I had just gotten home from roadshow practice at church and was probably halfway through my prenatal yoga DVD. Things happened pretty quickly after that, and although I did record it, I never blogged about it. So here is a little glimpse of how my sweet baby girls came into the world a year ago.




From my journal:
Before it's too far from my mind (and before my memory embellishes it much), I wanted to record the events leading up to the population boom around here.


The Breakdown

April 1- Our ultrasound shows the girls have moved from "ready" (heads down) to breech. We make an appointment for a followup ultrasound on April 16 to see if they've moved, or if we need to accept the fact that a c-section may be necessary.

April 14-

    6pm- GK gets home from work apologizing for not getting home in time to go to Costco. I say, "It's alright. I'm feeling a bit crampy anyway and don't feel like walking around. We eat dinner

   7pm- I head off to Roadshow practice (I wrote it, and helped run the music rehearsals) and proceeded to jump around and energize a semi-reluctant (shy) group. Afterwards, an on-looker said, "I have never seen a woman try so hard to go into labor." I laughed, thinking, "If only!"

   10pm- I get home from practice and tell GK I'm still feeling crampy and uncomfortable. This conversation ensues:

GK: "Is it contractions?"

Sus: "I don't know."

GK: slightly annoyed "You never do."

Sus: "You're right."

GK: "Maybe you should do some yoga. I just did and I feel awesome."

Sus: "That's a good idea."

I do my prenatal yoga DVD. An hour later...

Sus: "Nope. That didn't do it. I still don't feel good. I'm going to bed."

   11pm-12am- I try to sleep but the cramping starts coming in waves and I get out of bed so as not to wake GK.

   12am- The "waves" are 5 minutes apart. But with Van I had contractions for three days 3-4 minutes apart. So if these are contractions, I think I've got a long way to go and an appointment in the morning to check things out. But I'm in pain so I wake up GK to sit with me.

  

   1am- GK says I should call the hospital. I say, " No, they will just make me come in. Then we'll have to call someone to watch Van. I'll just wait."

   1:15am- GK insists, and I agree. I call the Dr. They tell me to come in. We gather things together.

  

   2:03am- We drop Van off with a friend. He's so happy to see her that I'm not worried about him.

   2:20am- We check in at the hospital

   2:45am- They're trying to get the heartbeats on the monitor. The "waves" (Yes contractions. Now I'm sure!) are coming fast and strong. The midwife does an ultrasound, both girls are head down! Hooray!

  

   3 am- The midwife checks and says, "Well, it looks like you're at about a 9." I think, "Oh crap, there goes an epidural!" She says, "Let me know when you feel like you have to push. We'll need to push you into the O.R. just in case. It's protocol with twins." (I knew this going in, so I didn't care) I say, "Well it's coming fast."

They start to move me onto a different bed and as they do my water breaks. The push me through the hall. The midwife in training is in my face saying, "Blow right into my face." I seriously think about telling her to get out of my face.  But right then GK comes around the bed and I grab his arm for dear life and say "I want to blow in your face." I don't know what happened to the trainee, but she disappeared after that. I hope I didn't hurt her feelings.

In the hall on the way into the O.R. and I yell, "I can't do this!" And the Dr. says, "Yes you can. The head's half way out." One more push and...

   3:18am- Josie is born.

  

  3:23am- Delia is born.

With all the extra room, she flipped around and decided to make her entrance feet first. So Dr. Wilson reached in, grabbed her feet and artistically guided her little body out. (Graphic maybe, but it was amazing! A total miracle that he was on call that night, since breech deliveries are his specialty)

They put Josie on my chest and asked what her name was. We had a list of four names by the time the girls were born, but only Josephine was coming to mind. I kept trying to remember what the other names were when GK came over and said, "I think this one's Josephine." I said, "I think so too."

Then they brought Delia over. By now I had remembered the other names: Penelope, Fiona, and Delia. Penelope didn't fit for some reason, it was out. But then we were at a standstill. For the first day of her life we called her Fiona. But late that night as she was fighting so hard and I was starting to worry about her, Delia seemed to be closer to my sweet delicate thing.

Josphine means "God will increase". And He surely has. Through the dark few days when Delia was struggling and things were uncertain, Josie's calm grounded spirit held me together. Something about her wouldn't let me doubt that things would be fine and we would be all together soon. 

Cordelia means "Jewel of the Sea". After less than 24 hours, it was clear that sweet Delia would need some extra help. The hospital where I delivered didn't have a NICU, so Delia was transported by ambulance and attended to by an angel nurse. GK went with her, and he stayed with her and whispered to her and loved her. There are very few things that GK loves more than the sea, but this sweet bird is one of them.

And now after one hell of a year, we've all lived a lifetime and loved every minute (though sometimes only in retrospect). And my sweet babies have grown into beautiful little girls.