Summered Out

After all our adventures, we're ready to bring this summer to an end.

Just when I was feeling stretched to my limit, Vanny broke his leg and then I thought, "Well, I guess I had it pretty good." But through it all, Van has been such a sweet little guy. Not getting frustrated any more than a typical two year old (and a lot less than most).

Last week, just to tempt fate, we took our two baby girls and our wheelchair bound two year old to Yosemite to camp with GK's family. It was worth every inconvenience (nursing in a tent, cleaning black boogers out of everyones' noses, trying to keep Van's cast dry and clean) for these moments...

And now that we're home, GK's back to work and everyone needs mommy at once, we find ourselves like this...

A foot on each bouncer and laundry and toys everywhere! We've got it pretty good.

Blessings and Birthdays

Sunday, GK gave a name and beautiful blessing to Delia and Josie.

Yesterday was Vanny's second birthday.

Celebrations for both have been affected somewhat by our recent hospital stay.

Last week while camping at Refugio (north of Santa Barbara, CA), Vanny tripped over his own cute toes while showing off his gatorade bottle to one of his new friends.

Since he reacted a little differently than the other 75 times he tripped that day, we rushed him into the Goleta ER and had his leg X-rayed. He had spiral fractured his left femur and had to be transferred by ambulance to the nearest Hospital with a Pediatric unit.

After getting a little rest, the doctor put a Spica Cast on Vanny and put an end to our summer swimming, running, and ... tripping. He'll see the summer out in his wheelchair and new bike trailer. GK and I are still figuring out the way to juggle two infants and a newly entrapped toddler. It would be impossible without all the help from grandparents and friends. We've been very blessed.

Pictures to come.

two sisters

 two sisters

two sisters, with two sisters

You may be like me and be checking Susanna and GK's blog every day to see new pictures of their little ones.  Well, at least I was until I got to meet Josie and Delia last week.  I decided at the end of my week there that I wanted to include some of my thoughts and images--to try and share a little of my heavenly experience in Davis.  Plus, let's be honest.  Who knows how many posts the Rissers will have the time or energy to write. I took hundreds of pictures while I was there...I will just include a fraction of them.

I planned since the day I found out the twins were coming that I wanted to go out and help Susanna.  Now, looking back on it, I realize it was more selfish than anything.  There are very few times in life when one gets to spend hours sitting with their sister.  Quality time.  And not feel guilty about it or think about what else you should be doing.  Then, to be cuddling a beautiful, sleeping baby at the same time.  Well, that's heaven. For years I have imagined Susanna and I doing this.  However, I didn't realize they would both be her babies.

Sweet Delia

Lovely Josie

When I got home, I told my husband Brady that I would put this experience in the top five of my entire life.  It was so sweet.  I was needed, I could make Van smile and laugh, load the dishwasher, change diapers, hand something to Susanna as she nursed two babies, do laundry.  And to my joy, these beautiful babies loved to be held.  And so that's what I did. 

couldn't you watch them for hours?

Although Van did try a couple times to step on the girls while I was there, I think he just had to assert himself and remind everyone not to forget him.  And how could we.  He couldn't be sweeter.  Delia and Josie couldn't be luckier.  This energetic singer will protect them forever.  And give them hugs anytime they need one.

 

 There is a spirit and peace that rests on a home of a new baby.  If you have ever brought a baby home, or spent time with a new mother, you know what I am talking about.  When there are two babies and a sweet boy who periodically breaks into song, it's indescribable.  

 

I am so grateful for my sister and our friendship.  As I studied Josie and Delia, I sensed some of the same closeness.  At one point Susanna said, "What if one looks like me and one looks like you."  I like that idea.  It was so hard to say goodbye to these two.  They will change so fast.  Susanna and GK, you are wonderful parents and I will forever cherish my time in your home with these new babies and making Van laugh his head off. It was such a gift to spend such precious time with you, Susanna.  You are a lovely mother.  I hope to have another experience like this with you someday.  Love, Aunt Zaza (elizabeth ashdown)

A few more pictures...

Two

Together at last.

The last week of my life has been among the most beautiful and challenging times in my life.

Delia is home and getting stronger every day, and these two girls are angels.

GK has been so good to update and record some of their arrival story. My version to come soon. In the meantime, Vanny's enjoying being spoiled by his Grandmas and I'm just enjoying my kids and grateful for all the thoughts and prayers on their behalf.

Aren't they beautiful?

I Can't Stop Checking My Own Blog

And I'm not one who's comfortable with self promotion or the public exposure of intimate things.  So reading about the details of another person's life is too much for me sometimes. I can't do it alone, and I can't do it in the dark, and if those people aren't going to feel embarrassed and ashamed, then dammit, I'll do it for them. But I just love these little girls...so here's some more good stuff. Intimate, and delicious:

I didn't get to hold Cordelia after she was born. Trouble came to her right from the start and the first theoretical treatment was to keep her close to her Mom and sister for the night. She constantly groaned and wheezed, her little chest was sunken and she had a shallow pant and a little worrisome furrowed brow that never went away. It turns out she couldn't breathe without thinking about it, the way you and I and fat little Josie automatically can, so she labored without rest. For almost a day. I'm a paranoid Dad, it's true, but when Susanna called me in the morning to say that our little delicate one was in bad shape I learned a bit about real heartbreak. I'd never felt a physical hurt like that before. I hadn't even had the chance to see her little eyes. Until yesterday.

I feel dramatic talking about it. It's my nature to blow things off once they're settled, and to assume they're settled before they really are, but if we lived somewhere else, or in another time, there would be no happy ending. I believe that a loving God gives us our children to be ours forever. I believe that. But every premature loss is a tragedy. Ours opens me up to other people's experiences with their little ones and I wish I could be a doctor, or maybe what I am thinking of is a super-hero. My daughter's struggle, although serious and intense, only lasted a few days. Three times as long as I had known her otherwise. But I believe that children come to us as whole and complete people, and I didn't want her to go without seeing more of who she is. Susanna and I are so blessed, and lucky.

Since Monday morning Delia has continued to improve and develop each day at a rate that suprises everyone. Yesterday our Doctor called us with news that two days ago we were told we might not hear for weeks. So after Van was asleep and safe with his Grammy, Susanna and I made a late night drive to the hospital and found this:

There were several "firsts". Josie slept through the whole thing.

Thanks for letting me indulge...I just love being a Dad.

From the Front Lines to the Headlines: Status Report

Miss Delia is now in wonderful shape and only being held for rest and observation. They are also trying to fatten her up. Everybody loves a fat baby.

Here are two beautiful photos taken yesterday by Susanna's Mom:

Daddy's Little SCUBA Diver

Momma's Precious Lode Star

By the way, Van may be finally learning from his sister that crying gets one attention, but he loves his babies.

He did not want those nurses touching that cart!

Love at first sight; he reached in and pinched each little nose "beep beep"!

Update

After three very rough days little Delia had a great night last night and with some peace and rest she improved so dramatically that she has been taken off of the ventilator and put back on C-PAP respitory aid. This wonderful news means that although she is still getting some help, she is now breathing on her own and her blood is retaining oxygen. She ate this morning for the first real time since she was born and tonight Susanna may get to hold her. She just came to Earth a little too early. She's not quite out of the woods yet but she is well on her way. We consider ourselves very humbly blessed and fortunate. We are grateful for trained medical professionals who care, friends and family who bring congratulations, kind words, food, prayers, flowers, and more (especially those who watched Van for two days!). I wish we could return to your home the love and strength that you have brought to ours. Thank you.

Here is a simple explanation of her situation from the March of Dimes website (a group and event we will be supporting more actively):

Respiratory distress syndrome (RDS): Babies born before 34 weeks of pregnancy often develop this serious breathing problem. RDS is sometimes called hyaline membrane disease. Babies with RDS lack a chemical mixture called surfactant, which keeps the small air sacs in the lungs from collapsing. Treatment with surfactant helps affected babies breathe more easily.


Babies with RDS also may receive a treatment called C-PAP (continuous positive airway pressure). The air may be delivered through small tubes in the baby's nose, or through a tube that has been inserted into his windpipe. As with surfactant treatment, C-PAP helps keep small air sacs from collapsing. C-PAP helps your baby breathe, but does not breathe for him. The sickest babies may temporarily need the help of a ventilator to breathe for them while their lungs recover.