The Crow's Nest: GK & Susanna

Josie has an announcement to make

2012-01-24T12:32:00.000-08:00

It's a BOY!

I think we've got just about all the girl we can handle around here.

With these two little beauties.

We are thrilled beyond words (hence the short post) to welcome another little boy into our family. Vanny has been predicting it all along.

And although I have decided not to make any final decisions about numbers while I am hormonally altered, this rounds out our little family quite nicely.

Equality

2012-01-19T22:23:00.000-08:00

After writing the last post, I started reading backwards through some of the entries on this blog. Each one brought back memories of the event or situation that had prompted the post. It actually made me wish I could ~~find~~ make more time to write. It's an important way for me to process and catalog my experiences right now. Every day moves so quickly and slowly at the same time, and the contradiction makes it blurry in retrospect.

One thing I realized (again) is that many times I write about Van. I don't mean to. It's interesting because my sweet girls occupy much of my time each day. They are growing and changing so much every day that sometimes they wake up and seem older than they were a few hours before. They are learning the influence they have on the world (me) with their words and their cries and their tantrums. Van's requests are simple and consistent.

"Mama, did I want some apple juice in my Lightning McQueen cup?"
"Mama, did I want to listen to dancing music?"
and lately
"Mama, did you want to play with me in my room?"
To which the answer is always, "Yes!"

I am going to make a concerted effort to diversify my subject matter, but the last two weeks have been a relief from an issue weighing on my heart and mind for a long long time.

Van has been unique his whole life. He hit his developmental milestones, but strangely. He skipped some like pointing, clapping, and later jumping. His pediatrician once said, "I have never heard a child with intonation like his." Vanny was less than one but would speak in full sentences of jargon. His nonsense words sounded so convincingly like language that people would often look to me to translate as if I could understand.

As Josie and Delia began to develop their communication skills (both verbal and non-verbal), concerns we had with Van deepened. We recognized the significance that Delia could follow my point and retrieve a specific object, but Vanny could not. He seemed to grow increasingly frustrated with his inability to express himself, and his requests and conversation seemed limited to a template of sentences that he would rearrange to fit his need. It's been almost a year since we started seriously considering the possibility of Autism.

When I mentioned my concern, many people would say, "He's such a good boy. He plays so well on his own. He seems to speak so clearly. Kids develop so differently, and you know boys just do things at their own pace."

He does play well on his own. But he can't relate to kids his age. He doesn't know how to join in games or even really parallel play. Kids at the park often come up and ask me why he won't talk to them.

After many appointments with Dr.'s who were completely unhelpful and uninterested in anything but the bills we received, and after many nights of taking turns in tears worrying about how we could help Van live a full and meaningful life, GK and I finally feel like we're making headway.

As the daughter of two public school teachers I know the complaints about the public school system. But luckily for Van, our school district has provided unbelievably thorough evaluations and testing. Meetings with Psychologists, Occupational Therapists, Physical Therapists, Speech Therapists and Special Education Specialists.

After two weeks of Early Intervention Preschool, I'm seeing parts of Van I wondered if I ever would. I honestly go to bed at night wondering if I'm imagining things or if he really could be making as much progress as I observe.

Rites of Passage: I

2012-01-09T13:21:00.000-08:00

I have come to this blog a million times since August with the intention of writing. With the idea of recording and sharing what was going on in our lives. A lot has been happening.

Since perhaps the very day of the last post, I'm pregnant. So that explains, perhaps, why a new post never actually occurred. Autumn came and we temporarily stopped gallavanting all over the Western United States, and moved across town. Halloween came and went, and Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and New Years, and new teeth, and new toys, and a new... well you get the idea.

In spite of all of that change and experience and life, I could never jump in mid-flow, mid-nausea and get back on track. But today all that changed. Today marked a rite of passage that has come sooner than I thought it would.

Today was Vanny's first day of school.

I imagined the picture of him standing in front of our front door with his new school clothes and his new backpack grinning at the camera in his excitement. You know, the picture I've seen of every other kid on his or her first day of school. But I knew I'd never see it. Not from my boy who hates cameras.

So after a first day of school lunch at In-N-Out, we went to his classroom and I tried to capture a bit of the experience. (Partly for GK who is out of town on business, and partly to stop time for just an instant).

His cute teacher Johana took a picture of us when he suddenly got nervous, then tried to escape to the playground.

But once inside, after finding his own hook for his own backpack... He decided the classroom was as good as any playground!

Vanny is such a special boy. He is tender-hearted and curious, he loves music and people. Over the past few days we've tried to help him get excited about the prospect of school. I'm sure it will be a bit overwhelming, but I'm looking forward to seeing what he learns.

At least for today, 2:30 can't come fast enough.

*Post script: Observations on revisiting this post.
First and most important: Van has passed the stage when going to bed with wet hair is easily solved.
Second: That leg coming out of the open car door is Mimi (GK's mom) here to save us all while GK is out of town.
Third: Vanny's backpack turned out very cute. It's even cuter than I imagined when I started out.
Fourth: Thanks mama for the sweater. He was proud to wear it on his first day!

From Where I Sat: For Posterity

2011-08-19T14:16:00.000-07:00

I've been told that I embellish stories. Like earlier this week when I told someone that GK is deathly afraid of being bored, and so he takes four books to the grocery store. It was an exaggeration-- though not by much.

But the story of our wedding needs no additional flourishes. It was a work of art. Or a piece or work. Or a little of both.

But first a little background:

We'd met by a modern miracle-- the online internet machine (one we don't recommend without a fair word of caution). We'd lived in Provo at the same time for several years. We attended the same concerts and lectures and plays. I acted in plays with his roommate, he hung out with my friends from the dance program. The circles intersected in a million ways, and yet, we never met.

While I was in graduate school in Denver, my brother Andrew thought I wasn't being social enough (well really, he just didn't like my last boyfriend) and he told me I should check out LDS Linkup. It really was more like a Mormon Facebook anyway, not just a "dating service".

One night, while babysitting for a friend, I got online after her kids were asleep and set up a profile. No picture, no real details, just enough to have access to the site. I began scrolling through pictures of profiles. I may have opened a couple of them just out of curiosity, but I only sent one message. To GK.

I wrote something like:
I've never done this before, but it looks like you like cool music...

And then more than slightly embarrassed, I logged off and thought, "That was weird". To my surprise, GK responded (just to be kind) and said:
Don't worry about it we're all on here.

In my next email, I mentioned Faria Beach, my only real exposure California. As it happens, he had grown up surfing there, and had actually been there that morning.

And that's just the way it seemed to go. One conversation led naturally to the next, and our connection and curiosity grew stronger and more committed. Emails turned to phone calls turned to a decision to meet face to face. That's when he planned his trip to Denver.

We hadn't known each other long before we knew we'd like to know each other longer. I'd say it took about an hour- or less. We had two days together that weekend. Living in different states, we began to plan the summer so we could live in the same city and get to know each other a little.

Well a little time and many hours on the phone passed, we saw each other for the second time. This time involved roses and a ring on a cliff overlooking the ocean at Point Dume in Malibu. We knew it was fast, and to many seemed reckless, but ironically it felt settled, and deliberate.

Our third meeting face to face was when GK came to Denver to move me and my things to Santa Clarita for the summer. By then, it felt as if we had known each other forever. And yet, it was that deep familiarity that sometimes brought confusion, because in reality we were still strangers.

The week leading up to our wedding we spent with my family in Salt Lake. We worked on the yard, where the reception would be, GK did some work for his uncle, I worked on last minute details with my mom. And as the week progressed, GK began to get nervous. I'll let him describe his thought process and how the whole thing developed, but by the morning of our wedding he was a mess.

I could tell, by the tone of his voice, when I talked to him on the phone that morning that he was unsettled. I hoped that meeting him in the lobby of the temple would resolve it. But as he took my hand, nothing changed.

We separated and got into our wedding clothes. We sat together and spoke with the man who would officiate the wedding while our families gathered in the Sealing Room next door. When everyone had arrived and was seated, we entered the small room filled with immediate family and close friends, and knelt down at the altar facing each other. There's no procession or fanfare in a temple sealing. It's just simple and to the point.

The room was situated so that if I looked beyond GK, all my family and friends sat watching and smiling. And his family sat behind me. Having spent the summer in California, much of my family had only met GK a couple of times. Some had expressed concern at the rapidity of things, but ultimately had given their support.

We knelt, holding hands across the altar and the sweet old man began the ceremony. He came to the part where GK is supposed to respond, and there was a pause. I looked at GK, he looked at me and just waited. The silence was long and after a few moments, the sealer said, "Do you need to take a minute outside in the hall?"

GK let out a huge sigh, "Yes," and he bolted from the room. Bolted. I stayed where I was, looking into the faces of my family, knowing they were concerned and probably a little confused. My brother Andrew admitted later that he was thinking through a contingency plan. He decided, "We'll still have the party, we'll just change the playlist."

For some reason, I didn't feel any panic. It didn't seem strange or scary. I didn't wonder if he'd come back. In the relatively short time I'd known him, I knew that GK was a man of integrity. I knew that he took his promises and commitments very seriously, and I knew that marriage to me was the biggest one he'd ever made.

I let GK have a quiet moment in the hall. (Well, quiet except for the cute old ladies working at the temple who brought him soda crackers and apple juice, thinking he had just forgotten to eat.) Then, I went out to join him. I held his hand and just waited. My respiratory therapist-cousin came out and kindly told GK that if he kept breathing like he was, he would pass out. He followed her advice, and after a few more moments, he looked at me and said, "Okay, let's do this," and he stood up and led me back into the room.

The old man started the ceremony again from the beginning. When he reached the same point, GK answered the question and dropped his head to the altar with a deep sigh of relief that the whole group, no doubt, felt. I held onto his hand and answered as well, knowing that from that moment on, we were bound together forever.

As a child, as I had imagined my wedding, I thought of movies I'd seen. I imagined gazing into my husband's eyes. I imagined swelling music, and weepy ladies with gloves and flowered hats. But movies rarely capture the fullness of reality. They certainly couldn't capture the richness of my life now.

So much has happened over the past five years. We've lived three lifetimes, and weathered our share of heartache. Three children, three states, two masters' degrees, five hospital stays later, that moment of decision, when we both said yes to this life, set the stage for miracle after miracle.

Who knows if every year of our life together will be as full of change and experience as each of the first five has been. But I wouldn't have it any other way as long as I can share it all with my best friend.

Mama

2011-08-18T23:22:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday lady! You've accomplished a lot this year. Don't worry, you can slow down whenever you're ready.

Perhaps it's having my own babies, that makes me realize how lucky I am to have such a kind-hearted, creative, spunky, tender mama. Cause I'm starting to realize it's a tricky business.

I love you. I'm glad to be yours.

3

2011-07-20T22:12:00.000-07:00

I don't know why it feels so momentous, but all day long I've wanted to shout out to everyone passing by, "My boy is three!"

Van's birthday last year consisted of Dr. visits, pain meds and cast signing parties.

But this year was so different:

This year started out with a homemade birthday donut.

Followed by a birthday adventure taking the bus with Honey (GK) to see his first movie in a theater: Cars 2

Cruising around town waiting for the bus to come.

Then later, a birthday dinner date with Mama to the Farmer's Market where we listened to music, played on the slides, and got some kettle corn.

At this rate, being three is bound to be better than being two.

I have to admit that in spite of wanting to announce the significance of the day, I felt a little nostalgic today. For some reason, three seems awfully old, and my boy seems mighty tall.

That sweet blue-eyed baby is slipping through my fingers and his independent, creative, willful counterpart is claiming a spot in my heart.

That boy of mine

2011-05-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

We went to the farmers' market on Saturday morning. We went to see the people, buy a cookie, look for some yummy looking fruit, and of course find some music.

Somehow, all the kids love music. Recently, Van has started some music classes, and it's amazing to watch his new found confidence.

When we stopped to hear some guys jamming at the park, he made himself at home on the extra instruments laying out for passers by.

I think it's about time this kid started earning his keep.

Today

2011-05-09T00:27:00.000-07:00

Today, I loved nothing more than being a mother. We've had busy weekends over the past several weeks. But today, we put on the brakes and just laid low.

My Jo spends hours of the day at this window waiting for people to pass by. Then she waves and smiles and smudges the screen with her drool-covered chin, and says, "Hi" or "Ha fa" (high five). It's very hard to resist falling in love with her perfect, squishy little self.

My boy is always amazing me with his tenderness. In the morning he wants to "go check on the babies" and when they come out he smiles and says, "my sisters" and kisses them on the heads. Of course then he cries when one of them takes his "Lightning Eequeen" and proceeds to throw all of his special toys over the baby gate into the kitchen where "the babies can't get them".

My sweet bird loves her mama right now. She can't get enough cuddles and kisses. She laughs at everything... except strangers. But even in her attachment, there is a mischief lurking behind her blue eyes that makes me smile.

And this guy (the one on the right), well, the picture speaks for itself. He carries a big load around here, and I'm grateful every day.

I wouldn't be a mother without them, and wouldn't want to.

An Accomplishment

2011-05-01T22:12:00.000-07:00

Friday was a rough day. It started out tired and was fueled by three cranky kids and some every day chaos. And by evening, I felt like I was drowning. I was overwhelmed with how many things in my life were demanding my attention, and only getting the bare minimum.

By the time GK and I had the kids in bed, I was exhausted and in my fatigue I started to let my emotions and my imagination run away with me. I felt sad that my children didn't have the mom they deserved, that I didn't communicate better with my husband, that my house wasn't more orderly and more fun, that my classes weren't better prepared and executed, that my...

Well, I won't go on, but you get the idea.

Then I started thinking what a stupid idea it was to have signed up for a half-marathon back in early March. What had I been thinking? I went to bed with these thoughts running through my head. Needless to say, I had a hard time sleeping.

At 5:50 AM as the rest of the house slept, I tried not to let myself think too much. I got dressed in my fluorescent pink shirt that I'd picked out at Target so that I'd be easy to see in the crowd, did a little warm-up sun salutation, ate a little breakfast and went outside to meet my ride.

Once my friend Heather and I arrived and signed in, I called GK to say everything was set. I asked him how everyone was and he said they were still asleep. (Turns out Van was actually awake and sitting under the dining room table eating powdered Nestle Quick) He said to run with my phone so they could try to catch me at some point along the way.

I started my race and GK started his. He changed three diapers, packed snacks, drinks, stroller while Van entertained the girls.

They raced into Sacramento and GK called me at mile 5 as they got close. He called again after he had parked, unloaded, and sprinted up the hill with the world's largest stroller. We were both so disappointed, they had just missed me. So like a champ, he packed up the kids again, broke down the stroller and drove to the finish line.

Some photo highlights of the race:

Just before I saw them at the finish line

Just after we reunited

Van thought my bib looked like a bag of popcorn. He kept reaching inside to see if he could find some.

The girls enjoying the free bananas in their jammies

My medal

My banana (altogether, we put away seven)

Josie enjoying the mariachi band

The mariachi band (Van loved the trumpets)

My friend Heather who ran her fastest half ever

Family Portrait (the girls are behind Vanny, there's no good angle to get everyone in that stroller)

In the end, it wasn't such a stupid idea after all. I made good time and accomplished something I'd set out to do. It turns out it was just what I needed after a day like Friday. And the absolute highlight of the experience was kissing the faces of my sweet babies and my love.

Maybe there's something to this idea of enduring to the end.

Spreading Out the Fun

2011-04-15T23:47:00.000-07:00

Growing up in my family, we had a saying, "We spread out the fun." I've mentioned it before. It used to mean that your birthday would be celebrated a few days late, or maybe the perfect gift hadn't been located quite yet.

Here in the Risser house we've adopted the slogan with gusto. Only to us it means that your birthday lasts several days before and several days after the official date.

We started celebrating the girls' birthday last weekend with some cupcakes and sweet company all the way from Colorado and Oakland. Then on Monday, a friend came with us to the park and took these amazing photos.

I can't wait to see the rest! Once we're done celebrating that is. (to see more of Angella's brilliance go to
www.
angelladawnphoto.
com)

And Then They Were One

2011-04-13T22:09:00.000-07:00

At this time last year, I had just gotten home from roadshow practice at church and was probably halfway through my prenatal yoga DVD. Things happened pretty quickly after that, and although I did record it, I never blogged about it. So here is a little glimpse of how my sweet baby girls came into the world a year ago.

From my journal:
Before it's too far from my mind (and before my memory embellishes it much), I wanted to record the events leading up to the population boom around here.

The Breakdown

April 1- Our ultrasound shows the girls have moved from "ready" (heads down) to breech. We make an appointment for a followup ultrasound on April 16 to see if they've moved, or if we need to accept the fact that a c-section may be necessary.

April 14-

6pm- GK gets home from work apologizing for not getting home in time to go to Costco. I say, "It's alright. I'm feeling a bit crampy anyway and don't feel like walking around. We eat dinner

7pm- I head off to Roadshow practice (I wrote it, and helped run the music rehearsals) and proceeded to jump around and energize a semi-reluctant (shy) group. Afterwards, an on-looker said, "I have never seen a woman try so hard to go into labor." I laughed, thinking, "If only!"

10pm- I get home from practice and tell GK I'm still feeling crampy and uncomfortable. This conversation ensues:

GK: "Is it contractions?"

Sus: "I don't know."

GK: slightly annoyed "You never do."

Sus: "You're right."

GK: "Maybe you should do some yoga. I just did and I feel awesome."

Sus: "That's a good idea."

I do my prenatal yoga DVD. An hour later...

Sus: "Nope. That didn't do it. I still don't feel good. I'm going to bed."

11pm-12am- I try to sleep but the cramping starts coming in waves and I get out of bed so as not to wake GK.

12am- The "waves" are 5 minutes apart. But with Van I had contractions for three days 3-4 minutes apart. So if these are contractions, I think I've got a long way to go and an appointment in the morning to check things out. But I'm in pain so I wake up GK to sit with me.

1am- GK says I should call the hospital. I say, " No, they will just make me come in. Then we'll have to call someone to watch Van. I'll just wait."

1:15am- GK insists, and I agree. I call the Dr. They tell me to come in. We gather things together.

2:03am- We drop Van off with a friend. He's so happy to see her that I'm not worried about him.

2:20am- We check in at the hospital

2:45am- They're trying to get the heartbeats on the monitor. The "waves" (Yes contractions. Now I'm sure!) are coming fast and strong. The midwife does an ultrasound, both girls are head down! Hooray!

3 am- The midwife checks and says, "Well, it looks like you're at about a 9." I think, "Oh crap, there goes an epidural!" She says, "Let me know when you feel like you have to push. We'll need to push you into the O.R. just in case. It's protocol with twins." (I knew this going in, so I didn't care) I say, "Well it's coming fast."

They start to move me onto a different bed and as they do my water breaks. The push me through the hall. The midwife in training is in my face saying, "Blow right into my face." I seriously think about telling her to get out of my face. But right then GK comes around the bed and I grab his arm for dear life and say "I want to blow in your face." I don't know what happened to the trainee, but she disappeared after that. I hope I didn't hurt her feelings.

In the hall on the way into the O.R. and I yell, "I can't do this!" And the Dr. says, "Yes you can. The head's half way out." One more push and...

3:18am- Josie is born.

3:23am- Delia is born.

With all the extra room, she flipped around and decided to make her entrance feet first. So Dr. Wilson reached in, grabbed her feet and artistically guided her little body out. (Graphic maybe, but it was amazing! A total miracle that he was on call that night, since breech deliveries are his specialty)

They put Josie on my chest and asked what her name was. We had a list of four names by the time the girls were born, but only Josephine was coming to mind. I kept trying to remember what the other names were when GK came over and said, "I think this one's Josephine." I said, "I think so too."

Then they brought Delia over. By now I had remembered the other names: Penelope, Fiona, and Delia. Penelope didn't fit for some reason, it was out. But then we were at a standstill. For the first day of her life we called her Fiona. But late that night as she was fighting so hard and I was starting to worry about her, Delia seemed to be closer to my sweet delicate thing.

Josphine means "God will increase". And He surely has. Through the dark few days when Delia was struggling and things were uncertain, Josie's calm grounded spirit held me together. Something about her wouldn't let me doubt that things would be fine and we would be all together soon.

Cordelia means "Jewel of the Sea". After less than 24 hours, it was clear that sweet Delia would need some extra help. The hospital where I delivered didn't have a NICU, so Delia was transported by ambulance and attended to by an angel nurse. GK went with her, and he stayed with her and whispered to her and loved her. There are very few things that GK loves more than the sea, but this sweet bird is one of them.

And now after one hell of a year, we've all lived a lifetime and loved every minute (though sometimes only in retrospect). And my sweet babies have grown into beautiful little girls.

JuiceBox is Praying to Heavenly Father

2011-03-31T00:14:00.000-07:00

You may know this little yellow fella by a different name but in our house he is JuiceBox. I think it makes a lot more sense than the common moniker.

Van has never seen JuiceBox in action but he does prefer JuiceBox stickers when he goes to the bone doctor. Two days ago we ventured into a toy store for the first time and Van sweetly pointed out that JuiceBox has religion. You and I know that this is actually Yoga JuiceBox, obviously meditating in full Lotus Position. Still, he and Van bless the sacrament together a few times a day. They are zealous for their age.

Recent Goings On

2011-03-24T18:39:00.000-07:00

My musical theater class performed their original musical Mythical, Magical Beach

Here is Hairy Octopus (the villain) with the Chicken with long hair

From left to right: Dolphin, Snake with long hair, Pink Magical Elephant, Contortionist, Chicken with long hair, Hairy Octopus, Unisis (mythical creature who is a cross between a Unicorn and a Pegasus)

Delia decided at the age of 11 months that pacifiers are pretty cool. That would have been handy before, now it's kind of annoying (but still adorable!)

The weather is totally crazy! Flood warnings, tornado warnings, rain rain rain! So here we are enjoying Curious George, emptying all shelves of their contents and leaving fingerprints on everything! Hooray for cabin fever.

In other news, both girls can stand without help, and Van is walking around and even dancing a little on his cast. Hooray for mobility!

Behind the Clouds: Thoughts for Van

2011-03-15T00:03:00.000-07:00

Music is an important part of our days. We listen to it from the moment we wake up until we go to bed. We listen in the car. We sing in the tub and at the grocery store. And Van likes to pick. He likes an album on repeat, and has an amazing tolerance (and insistence) for repetition.

For months we listened to "Grandpa" (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory soundtrack- Gene Wilder version) and "Imagi-ation". But starting about a week or two before he broke his leg, Van started requesting "Ghostlight" (the soundtrack to Pixar's Cars, including a song from one of the short films- Ghostlight).

It's the song he loves, the song he sings all day and night called "Behind the Clouds".

When you're feeling lonely, lost and let down

Seems like those dark skies are following you around

And life's just one big shade of gray
You wonder if you'll see the light of day

I've heard it said that this too shall pass
Good times or bad times, neither one lasts
But thinking that your luck won't ever change
Is like thinking it won't ever stop once it starts to rain

{chorus}
Behind the clouds, the sun is shining
Believe me even though you can't quite make it out
You may not see the silver lining
But there's a big blue sky waiting just behind the clouds

Yeah, theres a big blue sky waiting just behind the clouds.

I remember the day that marked the end of last summer for us. August 31, Van had his spica cast removed after 9 long weeks.

Many times while he had it on, people would comment on how mellow he was. How impressed they were with his patience and his resilience. I had to agree. He was amazing. I guess it helped to be two and totally willing to pull yourself along on your belly. Sometimes I wondered if he even noticed.

The Dr. who put the cast on had said his femur may only need six weeks to heal, but six turned to nine and the day we went to the Orthopedist to have it removed I tried not to get my hopes up. I almost hugged the PA when he told us it was time.

I held Van's hands as he laid as still as he could. He didn't cry when they got out the big loud saw to cut through his cast. We talked him through it and told him how brave he was being and promised him fruit snacks and a swim in the pool.

I will never forget when they finished and I picked him up in my arms and held his little body to me. For all that time, there had been this huge, bulky barrier between me and my sweet boy. And finally, I felt him against me and I was so relieved.

But the most remarkable thing about that moment was looking into his little face and seeing his countenance change. Suddenly a brightness and youthfulness returned that I hadn't even noticed disappear. Through the rest of the day I noticed that he was singing again and talking in a way I hadn't heard in many weeks. A burden had been lifted.

I remember feeling grateful that I hadn't recognized the clouds until they were gone. Maybe I had been too busy just making it through each day. I don't have clear memories of that time. I have snapshots. Moments frozen in time. But the day to day, that stretch of time is a blur to me now. I feel my heart ache and my throat tighten just thinking about how much my little boy grew up, and changed from a baby to a boy. Thank goodness for the pictures, because otherwise I may have missed it completely.

I know better than to think he doesn't notice it this time around. The cast is smaller and he is more mobile, but it is a constant presence. He wakes several times a night and cries out," Is it hurt?" and "I'm okay." and sometimes "Chocolate." (because that's what I promise him sometimes when he has to be brave). If you ask him what happened to his leg, he says, "I have a broken tibia."

Our Dr. wants to run some tests to make sure his bones are okay. Today as I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, Van started to cry. He called for "Honey" (GK) and said he wanted to go home. I knew he recognized this as the place we'd come three weeks ago when he'd broken his leg.

He seems too young to have to hurt this much. But sometimes when I listen to him sing, I think of that day when his cast came off and his countenance changed. I listen to the words and wonder if he can possibly know how profound they are. Right now.

And when he wakes in the night, I whisper to him that it's going to be okay. There's a big blue sky waiting right behind the clouds.

Sights I love

2011-03-04T22:39:00.000-08:00

Delia taking advantage of her pearls. She loves to crawl around with things hanging out of her mouth like this.

Vanny enjoying some "Jazz music". He requests it whenever he sees headphones.

Josie's passionate discovery of kiwi.

Josie with a contraband cookie. I still don't know where she found it.

Delia hiding under the table with Vanny's pasta.

Vanny elevating his leg and playing with the packaging of his new toy. Most likely singing "Ghost Light". Definitely a post all its own.

Stings like a Femur

2011-03-04T13:11:00.000-08:00

Today Van was quoting the part in Cars when Lightning says, "Floats like a Cadillac, Stings like a Beamer."

Only he said, "Stings like a Femur." It make me laugh a little, considering he's one of few two year olds I know that uses the word femur (he certainly doesn't know what a Beamer is).

In the summer, you would ask him what happened and he would say, "Broken femur." Now, you ask him and he says, " I broke my tibia."

He's being a champ. Putting up with babies crawling all over him (they love it, that he can't get away), pulling himself along like a lizard, singing singing all day long. He's even figured out how to get up the stairs at the park and down the slide!

As for me, I'm just relieved that this time around is about 800 times easier than last time. At least so far.

Deja vu or This is not a joke

2011-02-23T20:44:00.000-08:00

This morning, van slipped on the floor at dance class and broke his tibia.

The good news: no spica cast

The bad news: no weight on his broken tibia for 6 weeks.

In other words, by the time he gets this one off, he will have spent 1/4 of his third year of life in a cast. Not awesome.

Skipping Church

2011-02-20T20:58:00.000-08:00

This morning, everyone was sick. Except me.

Everyone was coughing and sniffling and cranky. Except me.

So I went to church by myself. Just for the first hour, but let me tell you, I haven't gotten ready and to church so fast in years. And I even took notes. And had some thoughtful, personal, spiritual moments. I think it may have been years since that happened too. (And everyone voted for us when the Bishop announced we'd been called to teach the teen Sunday School class, which was nice of them.)

But when I came home from church and everyone woke up, we decided to go on a walk to the ducks. It's been so rainy here this week that we had to take advantage of the bright, beautiful day in case there aren't any more for a while.

We ate a light lunch

Stole a few moments

Chewed on some grass and sticks for a while

And we left feeling a lot better. The noses were still running, but everyone's spirits had been lifted a bit.

*We didn't get any pictures of the poor babies' meltdown on the way home from the park. You'll have to imagine that part. But now that everyone's in bed for the night, these are the moments we remember anyway.

Sunday in the Park With Jo

2011-02-16T22:50:00.000-08:00

And Van

And Deedee Bird

How to Enjoy a Graham Cracker by Coco

2011-02-13T10:20:00.000-08:00

(notice the multiple bruises on her forehead. products of pulling up on wobbly things.)

My Emma

2011-02-12T13:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, GK gave Van a copy of this picture in a frame. He fell asleep with it tucked under his arm.

Emma's dad is GK's childhood friend. They are almost like brothers. This summer, camping at Refugio, Van and Emma really hit it off. Van would talk about her and ask to see her and hug her and kiss her. Both before and after his broken leg, Emma was so sweet right back.

Since then, Van brings up Emma and her family quite often. Sometimes out of the blue. The other day, he walked in to find GK looking at this picture and keeps asking to look at it. In fact, he's quite upset as we speak that I'm covering it to write this blog. "My Emma! My Emma!"

Maybe when they're older, we'll show them this picture and they'll be embarrassed at their early romance. Or maybe they'll hit it off in college and make their daddies brothers at last.

Until then, Vanny has his picture. And he can gaze at his Emma while he falls asleep.

In the meantime...

2011-02-06T21:58:00.000-08:00

This blog has been bumped from the top of the priority list as we've tried to jumpstart a new year. So here is a sweet taste of life around here until new posts begin flowing once again.

Dear Utah Friends

2011-01-08T23:19:00.000-08:00

My apologies. I'm sorry we didn't see any of you. Our trip started late when we I-80 was closed because of lots of snow. Then once we were safely there, sweet Delia spent a few days in the hospital with RSV while Van and Josie battled it at my parents' house. Then all of the sudden, our vacation was over and we had to come back to California.

I had plans to see you, really I did. And I'm sad that it didn't happen. But I hope your Christmas was bright and wonderful.

ps. To anyone who sent me your address and didn't get a Christmas card, the last batch is still in my bag because... read above. Do you still want it? I will probably still send it, but you don't have to feel guilty about looking at it, smiling, and tossing it into the garbage. (the smile is optional of course)

I love you. Happy New Year!

Attention

2010-12-12T00:14:00.001-08:00

If you are reading this, you are a loyal, kind, sweet friend. And I'd like to thank you by sending you a Christmas card.

Just to say thanks for sticking with me.

However, chances are good that I don't have your address. So will you please email me with it? That is if you want a Christmas card. No pressure of course.

Send addresses to:
susanna.florence@gmail.com

Thank you kindly.

Does this room smell like poop?

2010-12-07T20:20:00.000-08:00

It may be worthy of the title "Cruel and Unusual Punishment" to have two babies suddenly crawling at the same time as a certain two year old boy doesn't want to wear ~~a diaper~~ pants of any kind.

All day long, I glance over to see Vanny lying on the floor in just a shirt. I wander the house to find where he left his trousers just to make sure I don't have to search for anything else. Many times I have found him in his crib, after his "nap" (advice on getting him to take a nap without quotation marks welcome!) pants-less, jumping up and down saying, "I just wake up!" (Both of us knowing full well, he never slept... but that's another post.)

The other day (after just such an encounter and some quality time on the potty chair) I kept walking into his room thinking, "I can't tell if this room smells funny." (Why I'm confessing this openly like this, I don't know) But I actually had the thought, "Maybe I should invite one of my friends over and ask them, 'Does this room smell like poop?'"

I didn't. And it doesn't. But man, sometimes I scare myself.

I'm grateful for my life

2010-12-05T23:50:00.000-08:00

Please don't dismiss this post as one of those syrupy meaningless "Seriously, so blessed" type of gratitude posts.

I'll be honest. My life has kicked me in the shins a few times over the last couple of weeks. More than once I have had to put my head in my hands and make a conscious decision to just keep moving. I am in over my head much of the time these days and often find myself wishing I could be more___________. You can fill in the blank with just about anything and it has probably run through my head. Twice.

But, all that aside, I am grateful for a life of comfort and safety and warmth and baby drool and potty training. And one day, when all of the challenges of this part of my life have given way to the challenges of the next part of my life, I'm sure I will miss it. A lot.

There is nothing like having small children around you to make you realize how quickly time is passing. There are many things I would like to teach my children and among them is something I'm still trying to learn myself. That is to drink in the moments for what they are. Hard, good, painful, joyful. Each one has a lifetime inside of it.

One Guess

2010-12-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

You could have guessed GK. But you would be right to guess Josie Pie. Or as Van calls her "my Josie". (As in his Josie. Not my Josie. He'll make sure you get that distinction. Not in bratty way, just to make sure you've got the right idea.)

This is just moments after the girls were born. Josie put her little hand over Delia's. Maybe she sensed what we didn't know yet.

From the minute my Josie was born, amid turbulence and adjustment, she's been an anchor in our family. She has her fussy moments (often), but she has the most loyal heart and the most willing, generous smile. Watching people play and laugh and smile makes her light up. Even if she's watching from a distance. She's a tender little thing.

And I'm grateful for her.

On another note

2010-11-30T20:16:00.000-08:00

Tonight I'm grateful for my boy.

Last night, I scrolled through pictures of him from the last year. I can't believe how fast he's grown and how much he's changed. It makes me sad. He still looks like such a baby here.

But it also makes me grateful that I've experienced almost every moment of it all. He's been through a lot this last year and he's taken it all in his cool stride. I don't know what I would do without my Van. (I know you don't like that claim Val, but it's true.)

One Among Many

2010-11-29T21:49:00.000-08:00

Things I'm grateful for tonight.

That this sweet, tiny thing beat the odds and became (or remained) a determined, vibrant, curious little lady.

A Sneaky Peeky

2010-10-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

On Monday, my friend eric from grad school days came through town. He is no longer acting and is now a full time (very talented and busy) photographer. He's based in the Northeast, but travels a lot.

He was cool enough to hang out with our crazy group and take some pictures while he was at it. He sent us a couple and I can't stop looking at them. I'm so grateful to have captured this moment in our life. The kids were all very sweet in spite of two colds (the girls) and one nasty diaper rash (Van).

I can't wait to see the rest!

Happy Monday

2010-10-04T13:17:00.000-07:00

Stats

2010-09-04T23:54:00.000-07:00

Amid all the excitement of the last couple of months, the girls missed their two month check-ups. But at 4.5 months, they're back on track and enjoying their fingers.

Josie

Weight: 11 lbs. 15.5 oz. (10th percentile)

Lenght: 24.25 in. (40th perctentile)

Head Circ.: 42.5 cm. (80th percentile)

She's rolling and can no longer be left in one spot for long. She will suddenly find herself across the room either by rolling or by pushing her face into the carpet and pushing with her feet like a little plow. She is so generous with her drooly smile that it's hard not to love her.

Delia

Weight: 11 lbs. 8 oz. (5th percentile)

Length: 26 in. (80th percentile)

Head Circ.: 42.25 cm. (75th percentile)

Also rolling, her movement is a little more mellow. At night she has taken to going to sleep at the same time as Josie and then waking up an hour later for some personal time with Mom and Dad. She comes alive between 9 and 11 at night no matter how hard we try. We love her little night-owl personality.

The are discovering each other and love to kick each other while they nurse and roll over the top of each other while they play and talk. They each seem to like having Mom to themselves, but they're learning to enjoy sharing her too.

Van

After an amazing week, Van went from not being able to quite crawl to walking on his own. He's still slow and has a bit of a limp (the doctor said the limp may stick around for a year or two). But he is back on his feet and has returned to dismantling the house one dishtowel and magnet and cupboard at a time. So far, the mess still feels like a blessing. It's good to have him back!

Usually I let these moments pass

2010-08-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when really important things happen in my life, I want to record them with perfection.

I want the words and pictures to match the experience, and so I wait until the moment when I've got the time to create that combination... but it never comes.

I have stories to tell my boy Van about how brave he's been and how proud I am of the hard thing he's been through and what he's taught me about courage and perserverance. But until I have a moment for that, here are a few pictures of my sweet guy.

Because he's back! Today, the cast came off.

Waiting to see what the Dr. would say.

All of us.

Watching. Van was fine as long as he had a fruit snack or two.

The beast.

Good thing they didn't ask if we wanted to keep it.

At each step, Van would tell the nurses " Good job!"

Van was immediately ready to go play.

And scratch his leg.

Once he found his way through the dead skin.

When we got home, he tried it out. It's still a little wobbly, but it's great to be back in the pool!

Maybe another time while Van is sleeping, or on a bike ride with "honey" (his dad), or busy playing with his friends at the park, I'll try to capture these last seven weeks for our memories. But it won't be at the expense of a single moment I can spend with my boy now that he's lost his "big sock".

2010-08-19T00:24:00.000-07:00

In 2006 I was just out of college, working a temp job, climbing or surfing every day, and not planning on doing much else for a while. Then I met a girl whose kindred spirit changed my life so quickly that I didn't even have time to notify all of my friends.

In the last four years we have lived together as true bohemians in Denver, New York, and Northern California, with itinerant layovers in L.A. and Salt Lake. We've been through two graduate programs, given life to three perfect children, spent a modestly estimated 6 months out of 48 on the road (driven tens of thousands of miles just for the sake of driving), developed a new career (two if you count Motherhood, which I do), collected a cadre of beautiful friends, worked through a few dozen plays and films and other creative projects, certified to teach Yoga, slept in the mountains, the desert, the dunes near the sea, and barely stopped to breathe.

Granted, we find ourselves near capacity at the moment, but in our own mellow way we like to stay busy and each year has been a whole new color of life. It's our motto to equally support each other in achieving and exploring the desires and curiosities of our hearts, and it's brought fulfilling fruit so far.

Our latest mantra, straight from the mouth of our little boy, is: "Are we gonna make it? Yes! We are!" It all moves so fast that there isn't even a photo reflecting our current situation. Thank goodness for the recurring date that annually marks the day we married. In the beginning my biggest wrestle with this relationship existed in the thought that Susanna cannot possibly be everything that I think she is, but she is. And more.

two dresses

2010-08-15T19:22:00.000-07:00

Well, Susanna has allowed me to break into her blog again. This time because I promised pictures of her beautiful babies in their blessing dresses. Josie and Delia were blessed at the end of July in California and because of a broken back, I unfortunately was unable to go. However, I did help Grammy sew these beautiful little blessing dresses, although she gets most of the credit. Especially for the incredible bonnets which she finished on her way to church. Thanks Grammy!


Josephine Cherryl Risser


Cordelia Ann Risser

Susanna's beautiful girls


Grammy helping with Josie's bonnet

Delia smiling at her Mama

What works of art! (babies and bonnets)

I love you girls! Love your Aunt Elizabeth

Summered Out

2010-08-09T00:18:00.000-07:00

After all our adventures, we're ready to bring this summer to an end.

Just when I was feeling stretched to my limit, Vanny broke his leg and then I thought, "Well, I guess I had it pretty good." But through it all, Van has been such a sweet little guy. Not getting frustrated any more than a typical two year old (and a lot less than most).

Last week, just to tempt fate, we took our two baby girls and our wheelchair bound two year old to Yosemite to camp with GK's family. It was worth every inconvenience (nursing in a tent, cleaning black boogers out of everyones' noses, trying to keep Van's cast dry and clean) for these moments...

And now that we're home, GK's back to work and everyone needs mommy at once, we find ourselves like this...

A foot on each bouncer and laundry and toys everywhere! We've got it pretty good.

Blessings and Birthdays

2010-07-21T16:10:00.000-07:00

Sunday, GK gave a name and beautiful blessing to Delia and Josie.

Yesterday was Vanny's second birthday.

Celebrations for both have been affected somewhat by our recent hospital stay.

Last week while camping at Refugio (north of Santa Barbara, CA), Vanny tripped over his own cute toes while showing off his gatorade bottle to one of his new friends.

Since he reacted a little differently than the other 75 times he tripped that day, we rushed him into the Goleta ER and had his leg X-rayed. He had spiral fractured his left femur and had to be transferred by ambulance to the nearest Hospital with a Pediatric unit.

After getting a little rest, the doctor put a Spica Cast on Vanny and put an end to our summer swimming, running, and ... tripping. He'll see the summer out in his wheelchair and new bike trailer. GK and I are still figuring out the way to juggle two infants and a newly entrapped toddler. It would be impossible without all the help from grandparents and friends. We've been very blessed.

Pictures to come.

two sisters

2010-05-17T19:14:00.000-07:00

two sisters

two sisters, with two sisters

You may be like me and be checking Susanna and GK's blog every day to see new pictures of their little ones. Well, at least I was until I got to meet Josie and Delia last week. I decided at the end of my week there that I wanted to include some of my thoughts and images--to try and share a little of my heavenly experience in Davis. Plus, let's be honest. Who knows how many posts the Rissers will have the time or energy to write. I took hundreds of pictures while I was there...I will just include a fraction of them.

I planned since the day I found out the twins were coming that I wanted to go out and help Susanna. Now, looking back on it, I realize it was more selfish than anything. There are very few times in life when one gets to spend hours sitting with their sister. Quality time. And not feel guilty about it or think about what else you should be doing. Then, to be cuddling a beautiful, sleeping baby at the same time. Well, that's heaven. For years I have imagined Susanna and I doing this. However, I didn't realize they would both be her babies.

Sweet Delia

Lovely Josie

When I got home, I told my husband Brady that I would put this experience in the top five of my entire life. It was so sweet. I was needed, I could make Van smile and laugh, load the dishwasher, change diapers, hand something to Susanna as she nursed two babies, do laundry. And to my joy, these beautiful babies loved to be held. And so that's what I did.

couldn't you watch them for hours?

Although Van did try a couple times to step on the girls while I was there, I think he just had to assert himself and remind everyone not to forget him. And how could we. He couldn't be sweeter. Delia and Josie couldn't be luckier. This energetic singer will protect them forever. And give them hugs anytime they need one.

There is a spirit and peace that rests on a home of a new baby. If you have ever brought a baby home, or spent time with a new mother, you know what I am talking about. When there are two babies and a sweet boy who periodically breaks into song, it's indescribable.

I am so grateful for my sister and our friendship. As I studied Josie and Delia, I sensed some of the same closeness. At one point Susanna said, "What if one looks like me and one looks like you." I like that idea. It was so hard to say goodbye to these two. They will change so fast. Susanna and GK, you are wonderful parents and I will forever cherish my time in your home with these new babies and making Van laugh his head off. It was such a gift to spend such precious time with you, Susanna. You are a lovely mother. I hope to have another experience like this with you someday. Love, Aunt Zaza (elizabeth ashdown)

A few more pictures...

Two

2010-04-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

Together at last.

The last week of my life has been among the most beautiful and challenging times in my life.

Delia is home and getting stronger every day, and these two girls are angels.

GK has been so good to update and record some of their arrival story. My version to come soon. In the meantime, Vanny's enjoying being spoiled by his Grandmas and I'm just enjoying my kids and grateful for all the thoughts and prayers on their behalf.

Aren't they beautiful?

I Can't Stop Checking My Own Blog

2010-04-21T23:22:00.000-07:00

And I'm not one who's comfortable with self promotion or the public exposure of intimate things. So reading about the details of another person's life is too much for me sometimes. I can't do it alone, and I can't do it in the dark, and if those people aren't going to feel embarrassed and ashamed, then dammit, I'll do it for them. But I just love these little girls...so here's some more good stuff. Intimate, and delicious:

I didn't get to hold Cordelia after she was born. Trouble came to her right from the start and the first theoretical treatment was to keep her close to her Mom and sister for the night. She constantly groaned and wheezed, her little chest was sunken and she had a shallow pant and a little worrisome furrowed brow that never went away. It turns out she couldn't breathe without thinking about it, the way you and I and fat little Josie automatically can, so she labored without rest. For almost a day. I'm a paranoid Dad, it's true, but when Susanna called me in the morning to say that our little delicate one was in bad shape I learned a bit about real heartbreak. I'd never felt a physical hurt like that before. I hadn't even had the chance to see her little eyes. Until yesterday.

I feel dramatic talking about it. It's my nature to blow things off once they're settled, and to assume they're settled before they really are, but if we lived somewhere else, or in another time, there would be no happy ending. I believe that a loving God gives us our children to be ours forever. I believe that. But every premature loss is a tragedy. Ours opens me up to other people's experiences with their little ones and I wish I could be a doctor, or maybe what I am thinking of is a super-hero. My daughter's struggle, although serious and intense, only lasted a few days. Three times as long as I had known her otherwise. But I believe that children come to us as whole and complete people, and I didn't want her to go without seeing more of who she is. Susanna and I are so blessed, and lucky.

Since Monday morning Delia has continued to improve and develop each day at a rate that suprises everyone. Yesterday our Doctor called us with news that two days ago we were told we might not hear for weeks. So after Van was asleep and safe with his Grammy, Susanna and I made a late night drive to the hospital and found this:

There were several "firsts". Josie slept through the whole thing.

Thanks for letting me indulge...I just love being a Dad.

From the Front Lines to the Headlines: Status Report

2010-04-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

Miss Delia is now in wonderful shape and only being held for rest and observation. They are also trying to fatten her up. Everybody loves a fat baby.

Here are two beautiful photos taken yesterday by Susanna's Mom:

Daddy's Little SCUBA Diver

Momma's Precious Lode Star

By the way, Van may be finally learning from his sister that crying gets one attention, but he loves his babies.

He did not want those nurses touching that cart!

Love at first sight; he reached in and pinched each little nose "beep beep"!

Update

2010-04-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

After three very rough days little Delia had a great night last night and with some peace and rest she improved so dramatically that she has been taken off of the ventilator and put back on C-PAP respitory aid. This wonderful news means that although she is still getting some help, she is now breathing on her own and her blood is retaining oxygen. She ate this morning for the first real time since she was born and tonight Susanna may get to hold her. She just came to Earth a little too early. She's not quite out of the woods yet but she is well on her way. We consider ourselves very humbly blessed and fortunate. We are grateful for trained medical professionals who care, friends and family who bring congratulations, kind words, food, prayers, flowers, and more (especially those who watched Van for two days!). I wish we could return to your home the love and strength that you have brought to ours. Thank you.

Here is a simple explanation of her situation from the March of Dimes website (a group and event we will be supporting more actively):

Respiratory distress syndrome (RDS): Babies born before 34 weeks of pregnancy often develop this serious breathing problem. RDS is sometimes called hyaline membrane disease. Babies with RDS lack a chemical mixture called surfactant, which keeps the small air sacs in the lungs from collapsing. Treatment with surfactant helps affected babies breathe more easily.

Babies with RDS also may receive a treatment called C-PAP (continuous positive airway pressure). The air may be delivered through small tubes in the baby's nose, or through a tube that has been inserted into his windpipe. As with surfactant treatment, C-PAP helps keep small air sacs from collapsing. C-PAP helps your baby breathe, but does not breathe for him. The sickest babies may temporarily need the help of a ventilator to breathe for them while their lungs recover.

Introducing...

2010-04-17T01:28:00.000-07:00

Josephine Cheryl Risser
6 lbs 0 oz, 18 3/4 inches
April 15, 2010, 3:18 am

Cordelia Anne Risser

5 lbs 0 oz, 19 1/2 inches

April 15, 2010, 3:23 am

Sweet Sisters Forever.

Little Delia requires some extra attenion.

Please keep her in your prayers.

More to come soon.

Spoke Too Soon...

2010-04-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

Surprise, Surprise

My Bright Star

2010-04-14T19:44:00.000-07:00

I think...

she is...

radiant.

More to come...soon, she hopes.

Details and Stats

2010-04-01T18:52:00.000-07:00

Stats:

34 weeks and as of this morning's check up, I'll probably be pregnant for the rest of my life (April Fools)

--I apologize for the prank, but I left my appt. this morning needing a pick me up. Too bad only 12 people read my blog anymore (Thank you those of you who have stuck with me in my inconsistency)

Details:

*The girls are still both currenly breech, which would eventually mean a C-section (though not until 39 weeks:(
*But if any two little ladies could dance their way into another position, it's these two. They move constantly!
*Today, I'm just ready to be done_physically.
*But I've got lots to do to really be ready, so I suppose I should be grateful for a few more weeks.

In the meantime, since I don't know those two little beauties in my last post, here's a shot of my little beauty in all his splendor.

Next time, it'll be the real thing.

Promise!

Welcome!

2010-04-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

To the world...

Details coming soon. Mommy and babies are tired.

Quite The Able Mother

2010-03-28T21:09:00.000-07:00

A very dear friend of mine (a sister in many ways) has been a genuine inspiration since we were children. People say such things casually quite a bit, but I doubt that in this case anyone would argue. She's wonderfully grounded, a devoted friend, gives practical advice (has an opinion on most everything), is always motivated and determined, cares for others, may be surly at times but never complains, and has had muscular dystrophy for the near thirty years of her life. That last bit may slow her down at times, but it's never stopped her. In a very real way, she is a miracle. But she would be confused and embarrassed by a comment like that. And she would never think such a thing about herself. She gives you the impression that the struggle she very skillfully deals with on a daily basis is just like the anxiety you feel about living a good life, or like the social struggle we all have when trying to make friends or find a new job. It's just what it is; her life. Well, now she is a Mom. Every day she cares for a beautiful baby girl. A miracle compounded. As are the struggles. And also the joys. You should meet her. She's started a blog that I think may get interesting, especially if other people get involved. You can find her here.

Post Bath Stroll

2010-03-18T22:59:00.000-07:00

Enough said.

Last Weekend

2010-03-16T23:46:00.000-07:00

This last weekend we decided to get away. As pushed through the stress of packing and initial departure, we wondered if it was worth the effort.

Boy was it!

Here are some highlights... (that wouldn't have been captured without our amazing new camera)

Chapter 1: Ventura

Where we went to see S's brother Nathan and his wife Marian. Our gracious hosts.

Van busted out his new swim trunks and was in heaven exploring every rock and staring at every surfer.

We were also lucky enough to see S's cousin Nathan and his wife Sarah Jane.

Susanna and Sarah Jane (7.5 months and 3 months along respectively)

Nathan Bowen (S's cousin and SJ's hubby) and their daughter Norah.

Just a picture of Suzi that I really like.

Born two days apart, these two little New Yorkers have adjusted to California life with great ease.

GK teaching Van the ways of the ocean.

The morning view from the deck.

Our morning view from the table.

Chapter 2: Solvang

We went to cheer on Poppie (Grandpa Risser) on his 100 mile bike ride.

(If you look closely you'll see GK's passengers front and back)

Mimi and SusannaReggie in heaven. He and Mimi have a real bond.

Vanny waiting for Poppie's arrival at the finish line.

Poppie's arrival, in style!

The celebration.

Van aspiring to be like the big guy.

Ditto.

An early morning hike with Dad and Poppie.

Followed by a glorious breakfast.

I suppose every good thing has to come to an end. In order to make way for the next one.

My Dad

2010-03-09T18:10:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday!

To the one who taught me how to care about other people,
how to be resilient,
how to be grateful,
how to be kind,
how to ski,
how to write,
the importance of honesty...
among many other things.

I'm grateful you were born.

Against my better judgement...

2010-03-09T12:59:00.000-08:00

For those of you asking,

here's a profile shot my mom caught at New Beginnings (at church) last weekend.

Oh babies!

Don't expect many more of these. It's my naptime and I'm sure I'll live to regret this.

Grammy and Papa

2010-03-07T20:15:00.000-08:00

Came to town this weekend.
We picked flowers.

Made very satisfying messes.

Went on walks.

Sat around talking until way too late.

And now Vanny walks around saying "Pa pa papa." and "Nammy Gammy". I think he's looking for you, so come back soon!

Today

2010-02-04T20:23:00.000-08:00

I'm 31.

So far I preferred being 30.

Since we currently have a broken camera and a flip that is missing in action... you may be waiting a while for visual entertainment.

There's much to report between Christmas, a trip to NY and my enormous belly...

But as a brief update, Vanny is thriving. He has learned the powerful effect of tantrums. He is also suddenly quite communicative. He talks nonstop, and every once in a while says something we understand.

Our latest favorite is "Hoo-yay!" whenever he's pleased about anything. It's enough to make up for the tantrums. Almost.

On becoming a man

2009-12-13T16:58:00.000-08:00

A dose of Van (for Sara and Papa)

2009-12-07T22:08:00.000-08:00

And all you other closet fans

I'm not exaggerating when I say that as soon as Van wakes up in the morning he wants the piano open and he wants to be put up on the bench. He practices on and off all day long.

When he's not eating that is...

Or standing on the table...

Or practicing to be a tattoo artist...

He's got a pretty busy life. He's feeling the pressure to be a good big brother to the coming littles.

The word on the street is that they're both girls. Names in the works.

Father and Son

2009-11-30T23:00:00.001-08:00

Gratitude Countdown

2009-11-24T20:43:00.000-08:00

3 -- Number of children under the age of

2 -- that will be living in

1 -- bedroom around here. As of May 15, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!!

After finally getting all of our new insurance information I had my first prenatal check up on Monday of this week.

In order to make sure the estimated due date was correct, the Dr. did a sonogram to measure the baby's growth. Well, the minute she put the device on my belly it looked a little different.

GK immediately correctly identified two little heads but kept quiet. I thought it looked like two heads and thought, "Wow, that little thing is in a weird position!"

Well the Dr. was quiet as she clicked around and then said, "Well, it looks like you're measure at 15 weeks exactly." (A little behind where I thought I was) "And I have a bit of a surprise for you, there are actually two babies in there."

GK jumped out of his chair and screamed, "I knew it! I knew it! I've been saying that from the beginning!" The Dr. probably thought he was insane... he is.

He really has been talking to the babies from the beginning. He will often say, "Hi babies, how are you. It's daddy." And up until yesterday I would just smack him and tell him to knock it off.

GK is strutting around the house like a peacock and I'm finally understanding why I've been so worn out and why this morning sickness seems to be lingering a bit. I'm carrying an extra parasite.

We are totally thrilled! And alternately totally petrified. But as GK has said from the day we found out I was pregnant with Van, "We're getting a bit of a late start. Twins would help us catch up."

Here we come!

Thank you Social Security

2009-11-13T21:51:00.000-08:00

This morning, after months of putting it off, I got up my courage and drove to the social security office to apply for a new card for me (my wallet was stolen three years ago in Denver... I know, I know, they say never to carry your SS card in your wallet, well now I won't) and an original for Van.

He never got his because the hospital filled his birth certificate full of all sort of crazy untrue things including NO GIVEN NAME. Not sure what they did with all the paperwork I filled out, but... I digress.

I knew I couldn't put it off forever, but when I went in Denver to add Risser to my SS card it took four hours. I just couldn't imagine what Van would do for four hours in an office full of people, on a floor covered in who knows what, in a room where technically you're not supposed to eat or drink.

So after almost going in Brooklyn, and almost going in Salt Lake, and almost going in LA, I went in Sacramento. And can I just say? I love Sacramento! I don't know if living in the capitol city just has its organizational perks or if it took a brilliant westerner to think to create a separate office that just deals with SS card applications.

I arrived ten minutes before the office opened and was the FIRST ONE THERE! What!? When I asked one of the workers getting out of his car if this was the right entrance for replacement SS cards he looked at me quizzically and said, "yes, but we don't open until 9:30" and walked inside. Confused at his confusion, I looked at my phone and saw it was 9:21.

At 9:30 on the dot, the doors opened and after a brief lecture about not taking weapons "including tools of trade" inside. I and a band of five or ten others were greeted by 14 windows open and ready for business staffed by friendly, efficient employees.

In less than 20 minutes, the dreaded chore was done and Van and I celebrated our newly documented americanness with some yummy breakfast sandwiches and a trip to IKEA.

By Request

2009-11-02T20:25:00.001-08:00

We procrastinated a bit in our Halloween decision making this year. But thank goodness for nap time! Just in time for the "trunk or treat" at church, the Risser-Frankenstein family was ready to go.

Frankenstein (middle) with his Bride (left) and creator (right)

The Bride acting more like the mother (Note Reggie. He was a bunny. Made entirely out of socks. This picture doesn't do justice to the ears, he was totally humilated and wouldn't walk.)Frankenstein in action. He didn't really understand the goal, but he liked the glow sticks and carrying around his pumpkin.

Maybe next year he'll raise the bar and try to get more candy. After all, he'll have to start showing his little sister (or brother) how it's done. Happy Halloween! Our way of scaring everyone is by announcing that we're expanding.

Coming April 28th (ish) 2010.

Tonight

2009-10-28T22:41:00.001-07:00

Tonight, we ate yummy burritos on fresh tortillas (cooked though not made by me... thank you Costco) with ripe juicy tomatoes from our local farmers' market (where Van was not only called "she" but "pretty princess").

Then GK loaded the dishwasher (something we've never had before) and tidied up in record time because of it.

Then we tucked our little turkey into his crib (he's been in a pack n' play in various locations for two months now), in his very own room (not a creepy long storage room that also holds our bikes and surfboards).

Then we sat in front of the fire and ate some pumpkin bread from Trader Joes, and we said to each other "I hope we never forget what luxury is."

Yee Haw!

2009-10-17T18:37:00.000-07:00

We found a place in Sacramento (technically Davis). We all felt like celebrating.

To Come

2009-10-11T14:09:00.000-07:00

When we moved from Brooklyn to insert current state. We weren't exactly sure how long it would be for.

We have been homeless before (though never with a toddler) and we're pretty sure we will be again some day, so we weren't really concerned about that part of things. We just felt, in spite of our deep love for it and its folks, that it was time to leave Brooklyn.

Not knowing what was to come.

But our experience in the past has been that things work themselves out. And once again, at a time when jobs seem scarce and lots of people are searching, GK found the one. He'll be working as a Rep for Macmillan Publishing in Sacramento.

So this week we'll head up there and see if we can find us an apartment with some windows in it. Start booking your tickets folks because we can guarantee that this place will have a spot in it for you.

September, I'll remember

2009-10-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

A love once new has now grown old.

When I was a little girl, my mom was pretty good about having us write in our journals. Usually on Sunday we'd lie around on the trampoline and write about our week, once we were old enough to do our own writing (and drawing). Before we could, she would write while we dicatated.

It started a sort of a habit for me. A compulsion during some periods of my life, and at others a nagging feeling in the back of my brain for not doing it. That's kind of where I am now.

In the old days I had no shame in an entry that looked like this:

Jan. 5, 1989

Wow! A lot has happened since I last wrote.

End of entry.

And now, so much has happened since I last blogged that I'm not sure where to start. So here's a list for now. Each of these could be a post of their own.

-Van and I flew to Utah from Brooklyn on the the world's longest, screamiest flight (sorry everyone, especially Van)

-We hung out with my family for a bit (including lots of dinners with my Grandma) waiting for GK to drive the enormous truck hauling a car across the country- alone

-We went to Jackson Hole to cheer on my dad, sister and three brothers in Lotoja (206 mile bike ride from Logan to Jackson Hole. Amazing!)

-Walking down the streets of Jackson, Van threw himself off of GK's shoulders onto the cement landing smack on his head (scariest moment of my life, followed by an afternoon in the ER and a miracle-- no bump, no bruise, no scratch)

-We drove to California for a fun filled week at the beach with GK's family

-We flew back to Utah for my Grandma's funeral

-Now we're back in California waiting to hear if all of GK's job interviews have paid off, because if Van plans on being such a dare devil, we need health coverage.

Blue

2009-09-02T12:53:00.000-07:00

This morning, to battle the blues that have chased me through the week, I woke up and decided to take Van and Reggie for a jog. Reggie doesn't have very long legs, so he does our warm up walk with us and then he lounges in the basket underneath the stroller for the run.

I used to jog several times a week in Prospect Park. The outer loop is just over three miles, and when pushing a stroller with a severe righthand veer, it's a good workout.

I've been slow to pick up the tradition here for a couple of reasons:

One, Utah is high! My dad's new license plate says "Life Elevated" and it's the truth. My little sea level lungs are taking a while to catch up.

Two, I didn't know where to go. I could run along the sidewalk and end up at a stripmall or a gas station or the freeway.

Then I thought of it--- Wheeler Farm!

I grew up playing in the wild woods at Wheeler Farm, sneaking into the hay loft (I think somewhere in there is one of my mom's electric blankets that my friend Melissa and I ditched when the farmer chased us out), visiting the little store, seeing the animals.

This was the first visit in years, and the first ever with my own little Van. It was so incredible to look at it all from his huge, curious, excitable eyes. He pointed at each animal, and giggled as the baby calf came close enough to the fence for us to feel his breath.

Be gone blues, we've got things to do.

Tonight

2009-08-30T19:06:00.000-07:00

After putting Van down to sleep I turned on the TV to fill the silence.

I watched the last three minutes of "Raising Helen". Now, I can scoff at a silly chick flick with the best of them (or watch the same one five times in one weekend). But tonight as I watched them walk down the boardwalk by the Hudson River, I got all choked up.

I cried a little as I thought of the last week we spent together as a family in New York. I find that most of my stories and sentences these days start with, "In New York..." It's got to get a little old to those listening, but I can't help it.

I miss my city.

I miss my friends.

I miss my park.

I miss my sweet husband.

I miss my dungeon. I never thought I'd say that, but I do.

For Dada

2009-08-25T21:30:00.000-07:00

We miss you. Pack fast and come soon. Things around here are changing.

Last

2009-08-21T07:24:00.000-07:00

Last night I went with my friend Valerie to a ballet class for the last time.

Actually this was the first time for this particular class too. We've taken others together: yoga, modern, sunday school. But because of GK's work schedule, this one took us a while to make happen.

On the way home from ballet, she asked me if it was daunting to think of all the things I wanted to do for the last time.

With only two and half days left? Yes.

This morning after stopping an unsuspecting passerby to take our picture (he was wearing a Patagonia bag, so we were pretty sure we could trust him)Van and Reggie and I walked GK down to the subway And waved goodbyeAs he headed off to work.

Third

2009-08-19T06:04:00.000-07:00

Three years ago, I married the man of my dreams. In spite of the hundreds of syrupy photos of us looking smitten, I couldn't have known how much better he would make my life.

I do now.

First

2009-07-20T06:52:00.000-07:00

Cupcake

Van Giles Risser - July 20, 2008

Happy Birthday Vanny Guy! You've made our year.

One Week

2009-07-13T10:46:00.000-07:00

Is it possible that this little monkey has been a part of our lives for almost a whole year? More really, if you count the nine months he rode along. The strong, silent type.

In the first 51 weeks of his life, he's done a lot.
He has conquered one of the most powerful cities in the world with his cool blue eyes and drooly smile: He's given concerts on the art in Battery Park:

He's robbed many unsuspecting picnickers (who forgive him immediately when he flashes a grin)

He has become the heart and soul of a very happy family:

It's hard to remember life without our Van. Back when we were on time for things. Back when we didn't have to pack up the fridge to go out on the town. Back when our house was a little quieter, and a little less filled with toys.

Nietsche said, "Without chaos in your soul, you cannot give birth to a dancing star."

Well thank goodness for chaos, because it fulfilled its duty.

Let Freedom Ring

2009-07-07T20:21:00.000-07:00

Loud and Clear

*Did I mention that this is the view from my porch? That's pretty cool.

I guess you win some, you lose some.

Remember Father's Day?

2009-06-23T20:40:00.000-07:00

Growing up in my family we had a saying "We spread out the fun". Usually it had to do with birthdays. It meant your birthday party was going to be a few days after your birthday, or your card was coming a little late, or your present wasn't quite "ready". I always kind of loved it.

My mom made me feel special, even (or maybe especially) when we were spreading out the fun. I have been accused of spreading out my fun a little too long. Like the year I used the "You Are Special Today" plate through my brother Alex's birthday- nine days after my own. I don't remember how I ended up with the plate, but my sister Elizabeth remembers and in her version of the story I was still using it on her birthday- six weeks after mine.

Now that I'm a mom, I appreciate the various benefits of spreading out the fun. I like the idea of literally celebrating birthdays for weeks or graduations for months. As someone who has a lot on her plate, I also need the quick forgiveness that comes when celebrations happen a little slower than I'd like.

But with all that said, I recognize the deep satisfaction when the stars align and the catastrophes halt to allow things to come together just in time for one perfect day. A day to recognize GK the father, the husband and the man. I guess that's why I feel okay that this post is about three days late.

I love giving gifts. Correction: I love knowing what people love. Once I do, I can't help myself. I like to take note of random clues and unintentional hints and when the opportunity arises, make them a reality.

Since Van was born, he's had a plethora of soft comfy pants with horizontal stripes. On many occasions, GK said, "I wish they made pants like this in my size." Hint number one.

One day getting dressed for church, GK put on a blue silk tie only to pull it back off grumbling something that contained the words spot, stupid and ruined. Hint number two.

Last year after teaching seminary for several months, GK started taking some inexpensive paperback scriptures instead of the ones from his mission, afraid they had become too tattered and fragile. Hint number three.

With a little crafty magic and some brilliant book binding buddies, GK's celebration exceeded expectation (something we all know I have a problem with). But to stay with tradition, the pictures are yet to come. Just to spread out the fun.

Park

2009-06-17T19:42:00.000-07:00

Heaven

No Big Surprise

2009-06-10T13:01:00.000-07:00

Although we are sad to leave behind what we have come to love: good people, great culture and a unique way of life, it comes as no surprise to those who know us well that we are officially moving.

We put in our notice for our apartment and have been researching moving trucks and car tows, and as of August 31, we'll be saying adios to our two year home. We're off to seek our fortune in the West.

There have been moments over the past couple of years when I thought this day couldn't come too soon.

Like the time GK found someone's dirty underpants in our windowsill and another pair stuffed in our radiator

Or like the time our upstairs neighbor's illegal whirlpool tub flooded all over our bed

Or like the times we got parking tickets for not moving the car for street sweeping

Or like the hour (plus) it takes to get anywhere

Or like paying triple our Denver rent

But as the time of our departure gets nearer I think about how sad I am to leave.

I think about the time we brought our first little boy home from the hospital and our crazy little apartment turned into a home

Or the times we met our friends at the park for a visit or a picnic or a concert or a rainstorm

Or the times we walked out our front door and watched the fireworks over Lady Liberty

Or the times we sat on the train and listened to live performers and gave them a buck

Or the times we went to church and saw one face we loved after another after another

Or the times we laid in bed talking about what a good life we have

I am a bit surprised that it will be so hard to leave. But now this city will always feel a bit like home.

Blogging Irony

2009-06-01T06:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just feel like writing. Blogging I mean. I think, "What could I write about that might be fun to share?" And I rack my brains for things to write about.

Then I think about things like the time in 7th grade when my friend Kara had a Caruso Steam Curler and we curled our hair and made up a song called "Peace in the World Through Ringlets"... only the entire song was based on our belief that ringlet was actually spelled wringlet.

But then, when truly significant things happen (like the graduation of my sweet husband and the cross-country visit of 8 family members simultaneously), it seems like such a daunting task that it takes me weeks to muster up the courage to attempt it. That is obviously dramatic (I have a couple of degrees in that), but not far from the truth.

I guess you could say I have a small problem with expectations. I have very high ones of most things. I am also often hopeful long beyond when others aren't. This often works out well. At other times it only procrastinates the day of my disappointment. For example in high school when I wasn't selected to attend a leadership conference called HOBY, I was still hopeful til the day it started that something would work out and I could go. I didn't go and was really bummed at the time.

That may not make sense. GK certainly doesn't understand it and many would call it naive. But it remains a part of my character as one of my double edged swords.

I want the record of events to match their importance. But just when I'm about to feel up to the task, something else of extreme (thought not as extreme) importance happens--like a haircut-- and I don't know what to do. So until I figure it out, here are a couple of pictures to whet your appetite (is there an h in whet? or is that just my imagination, like that silly w in ringlet?)

Pictures of the graduation, not the haircut, since my expectations once again have bitten me in the fanny.

GK's Mom and Dad (proof that Kyle and Kayla came, yet to come)

GK and his Dean Andrea.

The Florence/Risser/Ashdown Clan

Every one of these images was stolen from the Risser Blog. I'm pretty sure we took some too.

Maybe when I start liking my new haircut for more than five minutes at a time, I'll post some pictures of that as well.

Family's Here

2009-05-08T08:28:00.000-07:00

This morning, after a red-eye flight from CA, GK's parents and brother and sister arrived to celebrate his graduation.

My mom, dad, sister and brother-in-law arrive tomorrow.

I am so proud of GK and so happy to have so many from our family here to celebrate his accomplishment.

Much more on that to come. But for now, after the travelers nap, we're off to show them our fair city.

Father and Son

2009-05-01T12:04:00.000-07:00

GK has talked about taking Van climbing and surfing since before he was born.

Before he could really crawl, Van would climb. Two or three days after he first lifted his little belly off the ground and began inching forward, he lit up the stairs in our basement apartment and succeeded right away in his first ascent.

Recently we were in Central Park bouldering with friends and after this skilled instruction:

Van didn't think it looked that hard and he pulled himself up on the side of the rock. Still working on his balance, he needed a little support. But here is Van's first aided climb; Rat Rock, East Face, Central Park, New York City.

Along with his quick temper and his intense focus on the task at hand, Van seems to have his dad's natural gift for conquering the rock. And now that the weather is warm and he can climb around in the dirt to his heart's content, his beloved baths are becoming an essential part of the nightly ritual.

In answer to GK's prayers, Van has always loved the water. He stays in the tub until he climbs out on his own (usually 30 minutes or more), loves having water poured over his face, and before he got too big he loved to lie on his back and kick and splash. We're pretty sure he'll make a seamless transition to the pools once they open and then to the nearby ocean.

Once we get him swimming, then we'll get him on a board...

Favorite

2009-04-29T09:32:00.001-07:00

Van has many toys.

More than I thought he would have. Mostly from generous grandmas or uncles or friends, he plays with them all with great appreciation.

There is one that seems like his above all the rest.

Maybe it is the consistency of the reaction; a brightening of the eyes and face, a speedy crawl across the floor.

Maybe it is the length of play; long periods fiddling, chewing, patting, enjoying.

Some people have sophisticated taste in toys. They raise their kids on wood toys and classically beautiful toys. I always look at them in admiration.

Well, my boy is just like his mama I guess. Easy to please, maybe not too sophisticated, a little bit out of the loop of what is stylish or cool.

This book:

Complete with it's cheesy pictures, flashing lights and sounds, this book never gets old for my boy. He got it from his Mimi for Christmas. And actually, since I took it out of it's box, it hasn't worked quite right. Instead of singing the songs and saying the words, you hear this sort of droning that resembles a dying robot or something out of Wall-E.

As we lay in bed last night, in my best broken robot voice I sang the book's "song" to GK. We laughed until our stomachs hurt and said, "What a cool boy we have."

Update for Papa

2009-04-28T18:55:00.001-07:00

Tonight on the phone, my dad said he wants more pictures of Van.
Just in general.

He's not a bloggie. Not even of my bloggie. But if I email him, he'll check this. And see these:

We're excited for you to visit Papa (and Grammy and Poppy and Mimi)!

Shhhhhh...

2009-04-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

Listen...

What's that sound?

We had just ridden the Staten Island Ferry and were parked with some friends for a light picnic before heading back. At first I thought the noise I heard must be some cables or ropes hitting the railing in the wind. Hmmm. Nope.

*GK filmed this sideways thinking we could flip it, but we haven't figured out how. Regardless of the sidewaysness, it's still funny. If you think fingernails on a chalkboard are funny.

Nap

2009-04-21T18:02:00.000-07:00

I love going in to get Van when he wakes up. He is always so rosy and happy to see me. Happy to be awake and just happy to be himself.

The other day when I went in to get him after his nap, I found him like this.

No pants.

Hmmm wonder what he'll figure out next.

Easter

2009-04-15T10:57:00.000-07:00

My plan for easter went like this:

*easter program

*lunch after church

*take family pictures

We did Easter Baskets on Saturday just to make sure there was time for the important stuff on Sunday.

Because we live in New York, the Easter Bunny brought GK's and my baskets in "to go" containers. Good thinking.

*easter program- check

The kids sang "Jesus is Risen" complete with sign language. And "My Heavenly Father Loves Me" (which all the kids call "Whenever I hear the song of a bird") They sounded like angels as always, and I even got a few compliments on my finger puppets.

*lunch after church- check

Our church always puts on a community program and lunch for Christmas and Easter. This one was, as always, a success.

*family pictures- no check

Darn! Why is it so hard to snap a silly little picture when we are all looking so cute? Maybe because by the time church is over and the lunch is over Van (and GK and I) are dying for a nap. I always tell myself that before church is the time to do it. Well, some day I guess.

For now I'll just have to be happy with pictures like this:

It's the best you can do sometimes when your child never stops moving even for a split second.

But just so I wouldn't repeat the tragic mistake of only one blurry camera phone picture of his amazing Halloween Costume...

Yesterday I dressed him up again in his sailor suit from Mimi and after a few of these:

Got this:

Happy belated Easter! from one happy little sailor.

The Mastermind

2009-04-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

GK is always thinking about how to maximize the use of his time. His mind is always full of story ideas, solutions for problems he's facing with his current big project (thesis), details of the upcoming transition from student to working man.

He is also very physical. All of these thoughts prevent productivity during the day and sleep (for both of us) at night if he doesn't get some exercise. Preferably surfing or climbing, GK needs to do something every day to wear him out so he can focus.

If he can't surf or climb, he generally chooses some form of exercise that will lead to more effective/enjoyable surfing or climbing in the future.

Last week he came home complaining that his legs were sore. Then he said, "It's probably because of these ankle weights I've been wearing around town all day."

"What!? You walked around New York City all day with ankle weights on?" I asked.

Yes, he did. If he's got to be moving, better make the most of it.

The next day after getting his books together and his lunch made, he grabbed his finger stregthener grippy thing and started strapping the weights together like this: When I graduated from Grad School and he looked like this:

People said he looked like the unibomber. Well, just look at him now. Desperate times call for desperate measures I suppose.

Van the Adventure Man

2009-04-08T06:18:00.000-07:00

Warming Up The Pecs Before Paddling Out

Here is a smattering of samples of my recent exposure to Mom and Dad's favorite thing in life: the art of adventure.

Playground Day 1

After having a quick pep talk from coach, and getting strapped in, we warmed up and peeled the sweaters off. By day 2 I was a high flying daredevil.

After only a minor fat lip and a lot of determination, I have mastered both sets of stairs in my house. My mom doesn't get much done anymore, except for making sure I don't fall from great heights. (She's not very good at it yet, yesterday I dove head first over the piano bench she had put on its side at the bottom of the stairs. Ouch.)

Back In Action

2009-04-02T11:39:00.001-07:00

Or out of action, depending on your perspective. But back nonetheless.

We have returned to New York after our most recent trip; an extended tour of the west for Susanna and Van, and a short family surf trip in our favorite little beach town. We've got some great photos. I think I'll leave the best for Susanna, but this is one of my favorites.

Mother and Child
Outside the Mexican Food Joint

Now it's time to get back to work; finding a job and finishing my thesis. I have some great prospects with a wonderful publishing house, but I could use help with the research for my Thesis. Any mothers out there of children under 14, please take a moment to fill out the brief survey at the link below, and pass it on to a friend or two if you can. It should be interesting and a little bit of fun.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=v8TV98eIbLySThKc5rfCKg_3d_3d

Thanks for your help.

Stay tuned. Like I said, we have great photos and detailed updates, Van is a different baby every time he wakes up. And I think we may have finally figured out how to add a video or two on here.

Westward Ho!

2009-03-10T17:39:00.000-07:00

It's warming up here in New York.

After a beautiful dumping of snow last weekend, the sun came out, stayed out an hour longer, and has invited the birds out of hiding.

The great thaw of what starts to feel like a concrete tundra is much appreciated but moving a little bit too slowly. And so, Van and I are flying west. We are participating in a tardy migration to escape winter by going to visit grandparents!

There are many adventures in store including a big huge fantastic and LONG awaited surprise, Van's first taste of the beach, and I'm pretty sure... crawling. Just to name a few.

And since GK has to stay here in New York to supervise the thaw, there will likely be more regular updates...

Stay tuned.

Little Lady

2009-03-05T18:44:00.000-08:00

Introducing GK's brother Jeremy and his wife Kristy's little angel.

Cali Sanoe Risser

March 3, 2009 9:21 am

6 pounds 15 ounces 19 inches

Welcome to the family Cali!

(Two down, three to go)

Good Tidings of Great Joy

2009-03-02T07:21:00.000-08:00

My brother Paul and his wife Kim welcomed

Samuel David Florence

February 28, 2009 at 9:35 am.

7 pounds 2 ounces 20.5 inches

From Paul- "In East of Eden, John Steinbeck wrote 'Samuel had good looks and charm.' We couldn't agree more."

My eyes get weepy when I think of those first few days touching and holding and wondering at the miracle of life. What a happy day. And since Kim is the first to give birth of my five sisters-in-law currently pregnant, there are many more happy days to come.

Birthday Wishes

2009-02-04T10:14:00.000-08:00

On his 6 month birthday Vanny wanted to tell the world that he's happy to be eating solid things with his very large teeth, that he's happy to be scheming behind his very large smile and that he's happy to be thinking with his very large head (off the charts, just for the record)-- but the world was busy watching the inauguration of our new leader. He was alright with that.

On my 30th birthday I just wanted to tell the world that I'm happy to be in it. This last decade was a full one... College: check. Mission: check. Grad School: check. Marriage: check. Baby:check. Move to New York: check. And yet, the next one I think will be even fuller. I'm so happy to have all of you in my life and hope you will stay there for the decades to come.

Between early morning presents and late night cake, GK made my birthday as special as Van's

So in case the world is less distracted today than on Van's birthday, here are our birthday wishes. We wish the world as much happiness as we have found so far in our lives and even more money.

Behind the Times: Part II

2009-01-28T10:32:00.000-08:00

If it weren't for GK taking the files to school to his speedy computer, you may never have seen these photos. As I always say... Better late than so early you get bored. Me and GK skiing. I went with him twice and in between he went once with my brother Paul and by our second time together, he was a pro.

Van's first time sledding. We took two pictures. One of us moving down the hill and one of us still and we couldn't tell the difference. I guess you could say we weren't moving very fast.

But it was a pretty big hill and he seemed nervous about it. So I trekked up by myself to show him it wasn't as scary as it looked.

He looked at it and

Thought about it and

Thought some more

It wasn't until later that we realized maybe we just went on too tame a part of the hill. He was mesmerized by this video of extreme skiing. You should see him in his doorway bouncer. He's definitely an extreme jumper.

Maybe someday he'll grow up to be like his cousin Matix who couldn't get enough of the sledding when we went on Christmas day (provided that Eddie would pull him back up the hill). Van slept through that outing.

Pops (GK's dad) was a little reluctant to go with the rest of us sledding (Bubba, Adam, Me, Cherrie, Matix, Pops... and GK taking the picture... not sure where Eddie is in this one).

But he was the first one on and the last one on the hill. He was an animal!

Behind the times: Part I

2009-01-20T12:15:00.000-08:00

Since it has taken a week (no exaggeration) of trying to get these pictures loaded I thought I'd release them for public consumption even though there are several more to come.

Hey. It worked for JK Rowling. They just kept on coming back.

So here's a little taste of our Christmas past.We stayed for the first week at the house I grew up in with my parents. The day before we got there, my dad had his entire knee replaced.So Reggie did his best to make him feel better. I think it worked. Once the snow on the canyon roads was cleared a little,

We headed up Little Cottonwood Canyon to the Mountain House to get things ready for the Christmas Eve celebration and enjoy a little mountain air and firelight.

My dad recovered more quickly than I assured him was wise. But what do I know. Christmas is a time of miracles after all. Van discovered the blissful independence of a walker. Even though his legs were still a little too short for actual escape, he loved sitting and playing on his own. With an occasional cousin coming over to chew on his toys from the other side.With Christmas Eve came the reenactment. From left to right we have Isaac- shepherd, Henry- grumpy shepherd(the picture didn't capture the sweet little scowl), Abby-Mary, Paul- cowboy wiseman, Peter-Joseph, and Maren-costume designer and set dresser. And of course Van- baby Jesus in his candycane striped swaddling clothes.
Joseph wasn't quite ready to give up his manger to the new guy, or maybe he was just putting baby Jesus to sleep by lying down by him.
But he really wasn't thrilled when the grumpy shepherd and the cowboy wiseman decided to try it out.

After Christmas, things were back to normal for most of us. Except on top of all Van's fancy pants presents, he also got two teeth almost simultaneously and pretty much demanded to be fed grown up food. You know, your favorite, rice cereal. He has since become enchanted with bananas, and apples (pictures to come).
Through it all, Reggie remained in his royal spot in the house. Right in front of the fireplace - or space heater depending on which one was hotter at the moment.
Van bonded with his Uncle Alex and talked about how easy it is to be green.
GK went snowboarding with the Florence brothers (and later skiing for the first time with moi). We're only missing Paul in this picture and of course my dad who in spite of his rapid recovery is not yet skiing on his new knee.

More pictures to come I promise.

Stay tuned for:

-Risser family Christmas sledding and revalry

-Suzi and GK ski

-Van watches extreme sports

-Elko? Yes, Elko

-And more!

Post Christmas Blues

2009-01-15T11:39:00.001-08:00

Van has them. He's sullen, sniffly and wants to nap all the time. I let him because I don't know how to reason with a six month old. So just for my own benefit I was going to do a picture saturated, over-narrated review of our extended vacation.

Instead...

GK and I were cast in a short independent film shooting tomorrow so we gotsta memorize.

The pictures will come.

As usual, they're worth the wait.

Christmas Monkey

2009-01-09T21:01:00.001-08:00

When a long time and a lot of events pass between posts, I find myself not knowing where or how to pick it back up. So while I figure that out, here are a couple of pictures of our little monkey. Christmas seemed to make him grow up a little.And I'm not sure how I feel about that.

The Littlest Angels

2008-12-14T20:30:00.000-08:00

At this time of year especially, I suffer more acutely from my usual predicament. Too many pictures and too little time. But today, since you can't take pictures in the chapel, you'll have to use your imagination for the most part.

Our December has been busy, busy, busy. GK's been finishing up finals and working hard being the dad around here. I've been hanging out with Van, watching him develop into a curious, beautiful, boy. He stops people on the street and on the subway with his stares. He loves watching people and engaging with anyone who's willing.

Once he's in bed, I've been pretty productive this season too. While putting together a million yummy plates of our traditional puffs, and sugar cookies, and brownies (a last minute substitute for a miserably failed batch of fudge),

I had a vision open in my mind. I thought about what wonderful little singers my primary kids are. Suddenly I thought, "Wouldn't they look sweet if they could dress in costumes while they sang? Hmmm."

And so it began. Out of simple pieces of fabric (curtains and scraps, plus a little tinsel), I made a Mary, a Joseph, 13 jr. shepherds(all sunbeams!), 5 lead shepherds,6 wisemen,

and 6 angels costumes.

This is Evelyn. She was supposed to be a jr. shepherd, but she wanted to be Glinda the good witch. She decided an angel was close enough. Good thing I had extra tinsel!

Imagine all of these little people crammed up on the stand singing with all their hearts "Away in a Manger" and "Still, Still, Still", feeling incredibly important. And they were. They gave me goose bumps. It was really beautiful.

This is the type of project that could go terribly wrong or perfectly right. Thank goodness for Christmas miracles.

A Good Husband

2008-12-13T19:31:00.001-08:00

When he signs up to bring soup to the Christmas Lunch at church, he makes it himself.

Getting Ready

2008-12-07T19:41:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas time. And I love it. I love the decorations. I love the music. I love the tendency to think of others and to be more generous. I love Jesus. And I love to be the Primary Chorister. We're getting ready for the Christmas Program next week. Stay tuned, it's gonna be a good one.

Tis the Season

2008-11-30T20:01:00.000-08:00

Since there aren't words to describe the loveliness of our Thanksgiving this year, I thought quantity might have to take the place of quality. And since a picture is worth 1000 words, here you'll find a 14,000+ word description of our wonderful getaway.

My Aunt and Uncle (Betsy and Larry) invited us to their country house in CT

We ate a beautiful dinner in the "barn"

Which they have characteristically made classy, cozy and gorgeous (this is GK's favorite feature)

This is mine

GK liked it too. We didn't give Vanny a ride. Maybe next time

His favorite thing was the bathtub where he could splash and kick to his heart's content

Larry took us on a nature walk and from the top of the hill we could see three states

On the way home, we decided to stop and cut down our Christmas tree. The little farm where we got our tree last year was on our way home (they close at dark and we made it just in time).

Abel's Tree Farm

In no time, the boys had found the perfect tree

And GK went to work

We picked out a pretty little wreath

And headed for home

And made our little hobit hole a pretty cozy place.

Grateful

2008-11-26T13:59:00.000-08:00

For my Van

Four Months

2008-11-24T18:05:00.000-08:00

I've been told he's really starting to look like me. I think it's the drool.